“Thank you for sharing what you experienced, Adele. Having you in the room to create a safe space for all – a judgment free zone — was precious to me. Thank you for loving on me and all of the attendees. I look forward to connecting again soon. Who you are is beautiful and the world needs you and your brilliance!”
- Lisa Marie Plarske
“As a chef my work is very physically demanding…Adele enabled me to continue my work using our weekly sessions for seven years. She is an amazing healer and incredibly intuitive, sensing your needs on both a physical and emotional level. Thank you Adele for all your great work over the years!”
- Peg Montgomery
“I worked with Adele for 6 years and she is a very knowledgeable lady that was a lifesaver for our family. She even helps with animals. Very organized and always ready to help with good quality advice and smart answers. If you need advice ask Adele, she knows all.”
- Vera Horicky
Why do so many have difficulty choosing. Well, it could be that choosing is associated with the possibility of failure. And so, choose nothing.
What is choice? An option, or a possible course of action
What is failure? Lack of success or feelings of non-fulfillment.
It moves us. Takes us towards a possible action that creates something we want. Choice is forward momentum, towards success or through failures that arise.
So why do so many have difficulty choosing?
Both stop many from proceeding. Inside the mind the feelings are similar. A fear of failure and a fear of making the wrong choice, feel the same. Because they both share the emotion, fear.
Why is that important? It creates a pattern of behavior. In many people, the resulting pattern is stagnation. Doing nothing, or not taking the leap at all.
And it is OK to have your ducks in a row, but perfection is often overrated. I consider it a dream breaker actually.
WHY? Because I hardly ever hear someone say to me, it’s perfect in every way. No need to improve. It’s absolutely perfect.
When it is ever perfect? Maybe there are perfect moments, but our brains don’t work that way. We are constantly searching for ways to improve. Improvement, creativity, invention are all natural phenomena’s of our brain.
But when perfect stops us is the ruminating thought, once I make it perfect. Or when I do this, or when this happens it will be perfect. And so perfect often stops us from taking the action that we need to make DREAMS HAPPEN.
It’s a lot of worrying about things that haven’t happened. So what’s there to worry about? Keep it simple, have faith and take the leap.
How many times do you think you fell? 1000’s maybe even 10s of thousands. But did that stop you? No! Did you not just keep getting up? Until you learned to RUN!
And failure is another word for try it a different way. So if your there, right now, lying in the dirt, pick yourself up, dust yourself off and get back in the game.
Choice is where dreams are made. So dream big and take the leap.
Or if something is still stopping you from going after your dreams, take a deep breathe, and give me a call, I’ll promise to catch you if you fall. xoxoxA
Is something dominating your thoughts today? Try journaling.
It’s not uncommon for us to unconsciously lock ourselves into a loop of unhappiness.
It could be called ruminating, worry or negativity. And it’s not a good thing. Whenever we are worried or stressed about anything. The process creates the same internal state as any negative emotion.
Therefore ruminating is considered a negative emotional state. A middle brain process where negative emotions initiate stress chemicals and hormones to flush through our body and brain; creating the physical sensation of worry and stress.
In limbic brains’ search for a solution to our discomfort, it scans through millions of memories, for a pattern of behavior that was used in the past, to make this emotional state feel better.
Unfortunately the Limbic brains interpretation of today’s event does not have to be correct. It is simply identifying similarities in emotional patterns.
Here’s an example: Did you ever watch Sesame street? Big Bird and 4 pictures would come onto the TV screen and we were asked to identify similarities or differences.
Which if these things is not like the other. Which of these things doesn’t belong. Well the limbic brains search only reveals the similarity of emotions. How we felt about something. But the truth is, it doesn’t have to be anything like today’s situation. And it doesn’t mean that it was productive. In fact, it only means that your minds attempt to make yourself feel better followed a certain routine.
Because just maybe that was eating ice-cream! And you are trying to lose weight. Or any habit. Smoking or taking a drink… It could be almost any addiction. Or it could be anger, unhappiness.
These are embedded patterns of behavior deep within the mind. Consider it automated unconscious patterns. A sequence of behavior initiated by our brain meant to temporarily soothe these feelings of discontent, anger, frustration.
What happens next? We often notice that not too much later, the feelings of discontent return. Maybe rumination interrupts a good night’s sleep. You may notice yourself having a quick temper, or procrastination as the emotion rises to the surface again, possibly even accelerating the emotion.
All result in limiting our ability to make good decisions, to be creative or productive. And even more important, it could interfere with your ability to feel happy.
So what is one solution to help return your sense of self and get you on the road and back to happy?
Journaling; but it must be done in a very specific way.
And I hear you say, why journaling? Sounds way too simple? Or maybe your thought is that it would be time consuming?
Well a few things happen when you journal. It requires your brain to think. Meaning that journaling takes you out of an emotional state. Emotional processes take place within the Limbic brain. This immediately shifts your brain. By completing a task of journaling, you enter a cognitive function. Writing is cognitive process of the Neo-Cortex. Meaning you are no longer in the Limbic brain and that makes all the difference.
It’s like shifting the gears of your car. When you’re in first gear, you’re not in second. And so on.
You see, the Neo-Cortex is where you think, have the ability to rationalize, analyze and be creative.
About how does that help you? You have removed your focus on emotion, therefore lessoning the focus within the emotional limbic brain.
By giving the Neo-cortex a simple action, you have changed the brains.
How? First by identifying the emotion you are feeling. Secondly, writing the identified emotion into your journal. Writing, spelling and organizing our thoughts all require the neo-cortex to process. Thus our emotions lesson, because we are not in a limbic brain process.
How? Imagine a brain to be like a room in your house. When you are in the room, a light is on. When you leave that room, you turn off the light. Entering a different room, you turn on that light.
When the light is on, that is the brain in use.
Identifying not only why; but when; we feel a certain way. When have you felt this way in the past? Are your current feelings related to an old memory, an old event?
If the emotion was the same as an old event, the memory was triggered. When this happens, that emotion is brought forward in your mind. Like taking a book off the book shelf and looking at it. Even though the event can be different, it is your emotion that was the same or similar in some way.
How can you recognize this? Your reaction was swift.
And how can we stop this from happening? Awareness is a beginning of letting the emotion go. By first bringing the emotion forward, it becomes malleable. This is where the deep thinking process begins.
I can take you there, but if you’re still not ready…. Begin to journal. It is a happiness builder. Happiness tip 1: is journaling.
If Sacred messengers could save your life. It may be good to know exactly what a sacred messenger is!
What is the Sacred messenger? Always unique just like you! It could be considered your life line. Your own unique wellness language!
In simple terms. It is the mental emotional or physical symptom. One we often don’t want to pay attention to. It could be the symptom masked or made invisible. By a drug. So that we don’t have to feel its’ uncomfortable expression. A Sacred Messenger is the “lost language” of our “selves.
What is our mind/body lost language? The body provides us personalized mental, emotional and physical signs. Feelings, sensations and unease. All signals for us to pay attention to. Or in some cases, warnings that we are unbalanced or seriously unwell. ….I call them the sacred messengers.
Example: It could be repetitive thoughts. Or feelings of irritation. Being short tempered. Anxiety in the pit of your stomach. Or that nagging feeling of anxiousness. Sleepless when stressed. These are only a few examples. Symptoms meant to bring our attention towards our inner dis-ease.
Example: Getting sick often. Our system is telling us something. Maybe that we are depleted. Possibly we need to rest. An opportunity to de-stress or eat better. To be kinder to ourselves.
Classic Example: You go to the Doctor. With a bunch of symptoms. You’ve been experiencing sleeplessness. And your joints ache. Feel kinda sluggish. And you have noticed that your thinking has become unclear. An old habit of procrastinating has returned. Exercise no longer matters. And you recognize you’re not eating as healthy. You feel intuitively that something is wrong.
So you ask the famous question. Doctor please tell me what’s wrong. And yet all the tests provide no clue. You’re in perfect health your Doctor declares!
So you return home. And continue to feel unwell. A few months later. When you return to your Doctor. You’re quickly sent off to a specialist. Just to be sure. Whew, you think. Now I’ll know why I am feeling this way. However all the tests return. Again reaffirming you’re in perfect health. But are you? You don;t feel well. Or… is it just that the symptoms are not to the stage where a diagnosis can be made.
So what is wrong? Maybe nothing. Or maybe, just maybe something is seriously wrong. But please investigate further. Be your best advocate. And consider a holistic route that can use these symptoms; to re-balance the system.
Why can’t we be diagnosed? Western medicine requires a syndrome (3 symptoms commonly identified to a certain condition). You then become dangerously “labelled”. With a “dis”-ease. But until the syndrome is identified, there can be no diagnosis.
Eastern or Holistic Medicine utilizes signs and symptoms; sacred messengers” and provide a natural solution for the prescription.
Body messengers verses Mind messengers:
Why it is important to learn the lost art of body language?
Why is it important? Because 54% of women who died of heart disease. They never knew anything was wrong. 67% never mentioned any symptoms to their doctors. But the facts are that Heart disease kills more men and woman than any other cause. Cancer is 2nd at 22%.
FYI: The messengers mean something! Do not ignore them. Learn to listen and acknowledge them. Body whispers could save your life!
WHY? Because people don’t wake up on Tuesday with Heart disease or Cancer. …… Signs and symptoms have existed long before pathology presents itself.
What if we considered sacred messengers as one of your body’s defense mechanisms? Could we then interrupt onset of illness? Science says so. So now we know. We have a chance to listen, learn and impact our well-being. If we don’t suppress its message.
If we consider that messengers bridge the physical, mental & emotional well-being, How could your health and well-being benefit from this knowledge?
Dr. Lissa Rankin: first a physician and later a researcher, keyed the term “body whispers”. As signs and symptoms that we are ignoring: fatigue, anxiety, sleeplessness, aches & pains, H.B.P. and cholesterol and more.
As a physician, she heard many stories. Similar to what I described earlier. And she couldn’t find the solutions. For her patients. She wanted to understand why. Why her patients were not getting well. Kept returning year after year. With the same or progressing conditions.
Dr. Rankin goes on to quote. Studies from Yale, Harvard and articles written in the New England Journal of medicine that state:
Health is holistic; health is the “holistic truth” of you. If you find your truth. You will then find your wellness.
She goes on to challenge each of us. To pay attention.
Why don’t we know about the whispers? It’s like a blind spot. We have not been taught how to listen. So we are unaware of that we are being messaged.
Particularly, in the western hemisphere. We are not taught. About the holistic nature of our selves. So now, we need to recognize and re-train ourselves. To listen to the body whispers.
How do we ignore or suppress Whispers?
How do I start to help myself today?
Begin to tune in…
How do I then articulate a well-rounded symptom to a holistic practitioner?
A well rounded symptom is like a three legged stool: It is like navigation, three points of reference.
What are immediate ways you can help yourself?
Schedule down-time for yourself
LET ME REPEAT
The way we treat OURSELVES, will be the standard of how others will treat us………
Who can help?
They can tell you, the wound of loneliness is deep. As deep as any physical injury. Yet wounds of the mind aren’t often recognized as such. And if you’re trying to lose weight? It’s affecting you more than mentally emotionally. It is affecting your desire for your future. (more…)
Take it from a traveler who knows: “Trust leads to happy days and happy lives.” That’s what the Dalai Lama told me when I asked him how seeing the world can lead to peace. Short answer: Travel teaches us to trust.
The author of the best-selling book The Happiness Equation wasn’t always as cheerful as he is now.
Neil Pasricha started his daily blog, 1000 Awesome Things, as a form of therapy after going through a painful divorce and having his close friend kill himself. (more…)
Passive suicide sounds provocative. It is more normal than we think. Letting life slide. Feeling dominated at work or home. Discover how passive suicide shows up in every day situations. (more…)
Swish Pattern:
is an Neuro-Linguistics Programming that can assist in removing unwanted behavior and move you towards your desired outcome. (more…)
How about this morning. Rub your belly? Did you pull open your P.J.’s? Then take a sideways look in the mirror? Did you think twice about breakfast?Wonder if you should cut back on calories today? How many outfits did you try? To get the one that looks good. (more…)
Passive suicide sounds provocative. It is more normal than we think. Letting life slide. Feeling dominated at work or home. Discover how passive suicide shows up in every day situations.
Have you ever just “given up the reins.” Let someone else make all the calls? Sounds benign? Not to our brains. Our brains like active roles. Passivity is detrimental to our well-being. The wrong signals are sent to our brain. Passivity to our brain…a signal that we don’t really care.
And as we may know. Our thoughts directly affect the action we take each and everyday. Passive thoughts becomes passive engagement. Passivity could be critical to our health. It could be suicidal.
Dr. Bernie Siegel offers a great read. His book, Mind Medicine and Miracles is psychology and health. I loved the book. Great information on health and recovery. Learning that we can empower our recovery. Impact our long term health through some pretty basic steps.
He talks about Passive Suicide. Doctor patient relationships. Illuminating important yet underutilized Psychology research. Understanding psychology of health is important.
Not pursuing passion. Suppressing emotions. Not doing what needs to be done. Allowing someone else make all the decisions.
Passive decisions, a faulty belief system that limits our power.
Why? Limiting ourselves to “Comfortable choices”, is a form of inaction. Not actively being involved in a discussion that involves us, is dangerous. Ignoring choices that may challenge, is a form of passive suicide.
Dr. Caroline Bedall Thomas of John Hopkins University Medical School goes onto say, the frequency of passive suicide remains unknown. Is definitely a factor in recovering from any life threatening illness.
MINE: “Dragging my feet”. Not getting my program out there. Fear of rejection. Holding back from passionate and rewarding work.
What’s stops me? FEAR based emotions! That little voice inside my head! Outdated beliefs about success and lifestyle. Success may change my life. I actually love the life I have.
A: Want to lose weight? Diet and exercise is key. We fail to eat well balanced meals. Fail to exercise.
B: Fight with our partner? It causes our relationship to struggle. We know its emotional baggage. It may be painful to look into our past. Learn how to remove these triggers. Correct them forever. Result, a better relationship. A happier life. Yet we do nothing.
C: We hear the alarm. Wake tired. Didn’t sleep well. Stress at work. Take 5 minutes to meditate. It absolutely helps. We don’t.
D: Have a stiff body. Stretching helps. Refuse to do.
E: Struggling? We need help. Delay making an appointment.
Why does our brain think these simple life examples a form of passive suicide?
Thoughts are processed. What does an act of passiveness tell our brain? How would our brain categorize that? Indecision? Possibly fear of trying. Fear of the unknown. Result? Stress hormones flood our bodies. Inhibit our immune function. Feelings of confusion. Loss of control. Doubt our capabilities. Self- esteem and self-worth suffer. And we lower our immune response.
Ignoring the “hard choice” requires our brain not only adjusts the chemicals and hormone mix. Which adjusts our behavior. Actions follow. We do nothing. It’s not healthy.
Does “passiveness” sound good for health?
Here’s a loaded question. Forget passive suicide.
If you had only one day to live. What would you do? Nothing? Would you chose to feel the sun on your face? Open a window. Listen to the soft sweet sound of a birds’ song. Step outside. Feel the cool gentle breeze move through your hair. Go to the beach? Hug a friend. Tell the ones you love, that you love them. What would you do? Do nothing… ? I hope not…
I was 27. My life forever changed. Flying high, a passenger in a amphibious ultra-light plane.
A beautiful sunny day looking at patchwork landscapes. Feeling the wind on my face. It was wonderful.
The pilot pointed to the winding river below. Deciding to swoop down. The plane tilt sharply. My back press into the seat with the extra speed. The engine rev behind me. Diving towards the river. The plane continued to speed up. Speed meant quickly skipping across the surface and back up into the sky.
Something went terribly wrong. The landing gear was down. The plane struck the water hard. Catching the landing gear. Immediately flipped from tail to head. Breathing in, my mouth filled with acidic tasting water. I chose to swallow the water, keeping my oxygen inside.
Careering upside down a fast flowing river. Water black, murky. Blind. Confused. Debris hit my head. More tumbled around my body. Cold water rushed by. Hair dragged through mouth and eyes. I tried to get free. Failed. Securely locked into my 3 point harness, meant to save my life.
Knowledge? I had been a life guard. A strong swimmer. Could hold my breath? yes! For how long? 45 seconds? 60 seconds? 2 minutes? Probably not. How long?
I could remember back. Challenging myself to swim a 50 foot pool underwater.. Recall the feeling of energy leaving my body. That feeling I knew. How long?
This was different. Not a pool. I couldn’t breach the surface. Better figure it out fast. How to save my life. The answer evaded me.
My attention now drawn inward. My life began to flash in front of my eyes. Was I dying?
Passively, I watched the thousands of images. My life in great detail. The images slowed.
Police officers walked up my parents sidewalk. Their heavy boots climbing the big red brick stairs. Knocking on the front door. The door opened. My Mother. First looking confused. The realization, horror in her eyes. Her heart breaking scream shattered my passive state.
Her body crumpled to the floor. Back to reality.
How many seconds? I did not know. Time stopped. Time is relevant to the observer. What did it mean?
Fully awake again. I must do something! I am NOT GOING TO DIE! Not today. Not like this.
That single thought changed my life. My brain “rewound”. Backwards flashing images. A memory. The exact information I needed.
It was a movie. Watched long ago. I didn’t remember the name…. (go figure) The scene, clearly remembered. A commander teaching young pilots how to escape a plane. One that had crashed, overturned in water.
The short story? I followed the script. Saved my life. I escaped the plane. I survived.
The instant I gave my brain a job. Incredible, powerful things happened. I needed a solution. Needed it fast. My brain did exactly what was needed. I made a choice. My brain went to work.
If you consider, being upside down in a water-filled plane. It may have seemed hopeless. I could have thought, I am “stuck”. I “can’t” get out! (ever felt that way)
Initiating change can be challenging. Engaging ourselves in any decision, set us up for greater success. The simple act of engaging can hold magnificent power.
It’s true in my work.
I never want to have a client that isn’t actively involved. It sets us both up to fail. With devastating consequences.
Do you know someone who walked away? Know someone who was offered their dream job? The job they fought for.
In Mind Medicine and Miracles, Dr. Siegal studies the 20%. He calls them exceptional patients.
Why? Only 20% of us engage in the process of healing. Actively pursuing the outcome. Make the necessary changes. The hard choices. Do whatever it takes. They are the survivors. Passive suicide is not an option.
Changes may challenge us. Challenge creates “resilience”. Our brain to finds strategies. Creative ways to ensure our success. Challenge results in healthy neuro-chemicals flooding our bloodstream. Increases our Fighter T cells. Our bodies FIGHT!
By making a decision. We take action, body mind and soul.
Life is all about change. Yet humans resist change.The old primitive Reptilian brain. Tells us there might be a wholly Mammoth outside. Keeps us fearful of change. Keeps us sticking with the norm. What we already know and understand. We feel “safe” by not changing. Yet it becomes our demise.
By understanding how out thoughts engage our brain subconsciously.
We must be willing to do the work. Contribute to our own wellness. In every possible way.
Contact me: adele@yourdestinycoach.ca
Stay well out there xox
I’m here to help. I’m Adele Anderson from Fulfill Your Destiny?
“Before I let someone else decide something major in my life,
I will ask; Am I sending my brain the wrong message?
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Or, do we beat up our Inner Warrior, the one that believes in us at all times, unless we tell it not to.
Our inner warrior is an easy target. Self inflicting pain is the way we often chose to hurt ourselves. How often do we recognize that we beat ourselves up, doubt our power, lessen our belief in ourselves. How often. Often.
Why do we do it? When we hurt, we sometimes blame ourselves for the pain we feel. Whether it is loneliness, stress, disappointed love, lose of a job or plane old unhappiness, it is easier to blame ourselves and fall into a pattern of self blame. Why is it easy to head down the dark side? because, I notice that human beings can be terribly fragile. We are insular when we hurt, we have a difficult time reaching out. And the cycle of fighting our inner warrior becomes a pattern, maybe even a scape goat?
So what is blame all about? Understanding self limiting beliefs that allow us to blame ourselves when things are not perfect in our lives can become a pattern that limits our higher expression of who we want to be, who we are and how much we shine. Possibly blaming our inner warrior keeps us safe from a more powerful expression of greatness. Then we would really have put ourselves on the line and then what, what then if we fall from a greater height.
Beating ourselves up, is another way to say I am afraid of my own greatness. If I keep myself small, I won’t challenge or risk too much. It is safer…. maybe not.
Consider how empowering our self is an elemental key to our success, happiness and enjoying the full richness our our being. Notice when we feel strong and we love our inner warrior how we naturally shine, easily effortlessly and in harmony with our being.
I believe empowering our self is the link to spirit and to our higher connection with all that we hope and dream possible for ourselves.
We are capable of incredible generosity, compassion, empathy, rich and rewarding gifts of service, love and when we gift our inner warrior with our love, many things become possibly.
Love your inner warrior, relentlessly nurture your inner warrior. Find the powerful force that lies within yourself and shine shine shine.
Best friend and confidant, eating food when bummed out. Fast foods. Drinks and snacks, high in saturated fats. Sugar, additives and terrible preservatives. Salt.
Our systems swing from high to lows, faster than a pendulum can.
Fast food is big business.
Fancy packaging. Ingredients that look like food. But aren’t.
Why does that matter? Our bodies don’t know what to do with “non-food”. That crap stays inside our bodies. Creates toxicity. Is stored like fat!
Many of the processed food words, we that can’t even read. Can’t read it. Don’t eat it. Processed foods, preservatives are often linked to disease. Cancer, heart disease, type 2 diabetes.
Driven by our own unhappiness. Loneliness and stress. Feeling there isn’t enough time in our day, to create a healthy nutritious meal.
Eating fast food perpetuates the cycle. Restlessness, highs and lows, sleeplessness. Foggy brain, irritability and dissatisfaction. Behavior cycles because we feel punky!
But that still isn’t enough. To make us change. We need a wake up call. Doc says somethings wrong. Still, only 20% make the needed change.
Be aware of the hyped marketing and lure with product that provide the Dopamine drop in an unhealthy bundle. It’s this lift in emotion that we seek, a temporary relief from feeling out of sorts and when ever we begin to feel the craving, our behavior is often to reach for unhealthy eats.
But there is many great healthy alternatives, that get rid of the highs and lows and provide our bodies with good nutrients!
Amino Rich antioxidant foods, free of antibiotics, artificial sweeteners, additives are great healthy sources that trigger the Dopamine drop and stimulate your metabolism at the same time! Lose weight now!
And if you want to lose weight by removing these pesky babysitters, watch my video and enjoy a neuro-linguistic programming session and have fun out there.
xoxo Adele
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