The Life of Grief Coach Adele
Drowning in a capsized plane may have been easier than entering widowhood
Up to this point, navigating the unknown waters of a plane crash, was the most significant challenge in my life, until it wasn’t.
It was a perfectly sunny day. You know the ones, bright, balmy, and filled with the adventures of a 27-year-old. Imagine my birds-eye view; sailing high above a patchwork of green fields stitched together by a snaked river that blended into the sea and framed on either side by snow capped mountains.
We had spent the afternoon dropping out of the sky. Then soaring upward again, Windows open breathing in fresh grass and the rush of wind through my hair.
As the sun began its descent, and we turned towards the airport, the pilots voice erupted above the engine roar. My gaze followed his outstretched arm, past his fingertips that pointed to the river far below. We had just enough sun for one last dip before we headed in.
So, without a care in the world, the plane tilted, and we pummeled towards the earth.
Then the plane contacted the water, and it flipped, catapulting hard and fast from nose to tail. As I saw him go under, my mind bellowed; take a breath! But as I opened my mouth to air, it filled with water.
My first thought, there would be no 911 call. My mind’s checklist: alone, upside down, total blackness, buoyancy up, gravity down, things bumping my body, the plane spinning, dragged itself along with the current. And lastly, I was trapped.
My feet hit the cabin floor hard, and I pushed. Trapped! Lifejacket straps dug into shoulders, tangled with the 3-point harness, holding me fast.
I opened my eyes to the gasoline filled water that seared them shut once again. My brain clocked, I swallowed the water, keep oxygen, Find the buckle! But inside my mind, was on countdown.
That tingling sensation through my extremities, weakening my abilities, and signalling a warning. Then the thought ran through my mind, I think I’m going to die.
Those thoughts, like striking a match, illuminated a movie of the life I had lived. As time seemed to pause, I am distracted by the billions of images from my birth to death.
And then the perspective changed, the images directing my attention downward, at this moment in time, I was floating somewhere above, the lone witness to my other self somewhere below. I could see quite clearly, myself suspended upside down inside this plane, long blond hair flowing wildly in the water.
Yes, I felt strangely unattached to the pain and disconnected from the drama. I felt only calm, serenity in fact, and a deep feeling of unconditional love. I was flooded in bright light, that shone a flashlight on the darkened destiny below.
And then the movie moved beyond my life… gifting me a preview of what would happen, if I was to die: And that changed everything I knew to be true.
I no longer fear my own death, but that did not bring comfort for the next most significant life experience.
That would be, the death of my spouse. In a mere 9 months, I witnessed his emotional strength expand while his physical body shrank into itself, eventually, becoming so weak he could barely carry his weight. And then….. he died….
The first thing I recall, at a soul level, is that forever, is a very long time. I don’t think I grasped reality because it felt so surreal. What was too real was that I felt desolate, in our dream home, minus the dream.
I became my own best client, I did the work and it helped my mind and body, but it didn’t help my soul.
I felt drawn to his presence, but I didn’t know how to reach through the veil.
I began to feel quite desperate. By the third morning I began begged the heavens for a sign. My face and arms upturned to the heavens and pleading with him or God, to send me a sign.
It was then a ringing sound pierced the air. As I held the cool receiver to my ear, a stranger’s voice came through that said; “your chickens are here.”
And so, maybe it as a sign? It would be a couple months before I reached out for a spiritual reading.
The first thing out of her mouth? “I see feathers everywhere.” She seemed confused and asked me if I had been finding feathers, collecting feathers, she said there were so many feathers, and she also said, Willis wants you to know, he is validating the feathers. This is real, and he is too. I cried…
So, every day I make the choice, to place my feet on the ground and reach out to help others. I practice mindful SOULutions.
Spiritual rituals to strengthens and calms my inner world.
NLP techniques; Neuro-Linguistics Programming; to release any emotional and physical anxiety. This puts me back into control and then I can talk about my loss without feeling devastated. Decisions about my future are restored.
And, I stay in gratitude, so my focus is positive, and so I am tuned into my beautiful life again.
I consciously choose to lean into joy. To thrive, not just survive my grief, and I hope that for you too.
Contact Adele to set up your free 30 minute exploration session 604-885-8236