Author: Adele Anderson

FEAR of Poverty

Are Your fears driving your behavior?

Many of us have this pop up in our consciousness when we are feeling financial pressure, Holidays with expectations of gifts, entertaining costs, buying a new home or transportation. The kids going back to school and the added expense of a new wardrobe…and there it is… a fear of poverty.

What is it? An unconscious fear brought forth by our reptilian brain in response to stress. Stress that arises due to financial matters initiates a “Fear of Poverty”

How does it happen? When we get stressed the Reptilian brain thinks danger and the fight or flight mechanism engages.  A chemical reaction within the limbic brain; the hypothalamus secretes chemicals and hormones related to stress, Adrenalin, Cortisol start to engage our physiology. Chest, abdominal muscles contract, breathing becomes more labored and the brain becomes a bit fuzzy. Heart rate elevated, feeling a bit off, anxiety felt in the pit of the stomach and a feeling of anxious anticipation. Sound familiar?

How do fears “inter-fear” with our well-being?

Like most fears, they sidetrack our behavior because the Reptilian brain is not able to rationalize the difference between life threatening danger and that of financial stress.

Let’s face it people are stressed and it’s hurting many. With stress being the leading indicator to heart disease which kills more people in the world than any other cause there is something to be stressed about! However science states, that it is our relationship to stress that actually makes the difference.

 

What’s that you say? True, stress is only bad if you think it is bad, feel bad. But stress can be healthier if we use stress to our advantage and think of it as a healthy process!

Most stress is cause by OUR reaction to a situation, so if could learn to control our “response” couldn’t we be healthier? Yes we could.

It’s a process of self-discovery, that takes us on a journey to explore emotional baggage, childhood dysfunctional memories and the layer of psychology that are holding back our abilities to be healthier, happier and in harmony.

An exploration can be as simple as sitting quietly, a meditation or sorts and thinking about the triggers in our lives. Finding peace with some and allowing others to be dis-empowered.

Other processes help too. Mindful activities such yoga, spending time in nature, exercise, connecting with supportive friends, journaling, good nutrition, adequate rest and self-acceptance can be facilitators to lowering stress.

Other tools can be used to interrupt the processes, Neuro-Linguistic Programming, Evolutionary coaching, certain types of counselling; but with everything, the desire to change must be greater than the desire to remain the same.

Things that don’t help are addictive substances, food, soda, sugar, alcohol, opiates, smoking… which simple numb the feelings for a short period of time and create their own destructive process.

So the next time you’re feeling the “fear of Poverty” stop and take notice. What are the feelings, where do they sit in your body and are they rational and grounded?

Clearly if your situation is real, there is also help for these types of crisis. So hang in there, quite possibly your stress and the fear of poverty can be alleviated by some simple steps.

For more clarity, check our my https://lifecoachadele.com blog

Until we meet in person, stay well

Xo

Adele

Struggling with fears
Are You worried about Your financial future…

I can’t Breathe. A Stress Solution

Can’t breathe?

Stressed?

Are we ignoring the sacred body messengers that tell us our health is struggling?

If you are having difficulty breathing, a tight chest or anxiety, these are only a few of the danger signs that your suffering from stress.

If life is so busy that stress is a normal occurrence, we should be concerned about the long tern health consequences.

Facts are: Stress is a leading indicator to heart disease and heart disease kills more people on this Earth than any other cause. And 54% of women that dies from Heart disease last year…. never even knew they had a problem, they DIED without knowing…

The fact is: Human beings are stressed out.

Something needs to shift.

When we can’t breathe, heart palpitations, have a anxiety in the pit of our stomach, fitful sleeps because we are worried about the next day. When we continue pushing through the workloads that are creating chronic stress in our bodies. When we fail to be aware that chronic stress is deadly. When we no longer recognize the indicators of stress.

WHEN STRESS IS SO CHRONIC

in our society that it has become normal and we no longer know what normal feels like. How to take control of your health and get back your health.

When it scares the “bejesus” out of you, then maybe you’ll notice, but does it have to be so bad, does it have to get to this level?

Breathe…

I can help. I have been a professional woman for most of my adult life and have owned several successful and demanding businesses. I have a holistic medical background with many healthy happy clients. I understand your stress and can help.

Help is close at hand.

Contact me, Adele at Fulfillyourdestiny.ca and go to the work with Adele tab. Book a FREE 30 minute personal consult with Adele to discuss your health concerns and get yourself back on track!

Adele Anderson Incredible Journey

I knew from an early age what was driving my behavior. My desire to help others and keep them well.

I believe very early in life, about our inner nature than we truly recognize. When I said I wanted to be in healthcare so I could save peoples lives, I was only 5.

By looking at what is really important to me: helping others, family and the mind body connection, I can see why I became a Homeopath and later a health Coach. I am passionate about my work and my clients. I want the very best for them.

My skills allow me to connect the language they use to the root cause of their self-limiting beliefs. When childhood baggage or dysfunctional experiences are unconsciously driving behavior, I can help bring awareness and start the process of taking back control.

Discovering the Journey to the incredible you! Join the Incredible journey.

If her plane crashes I will save her life!

Wheat Addiction!

Are You A Bread Addict?

Wheat can be considered an Addiction

Dreading the next diet, well don’t! Slowing detoxifying our eating habits, eliminating excess, deficiencies and stagnation from our diet, is a psychological shift. With a million diets out there, I don’t believe it is about food… I believe it is about our psychology and about addiction, and wheat addiction is a biggy!

It’s time to shift our thinking about losing weight and scrap the diet. Our inability to lose weight has just as much to do with what is going on inside our heads as it is about what’s going in our mouths.

When flour and refined carbo-hydrates are the 2nd biggest addictive food, it makes sense. Sugar is #1 and flour and refined carbo-hydrates quickly convert to sugar. BINGO!
When high glycemic foods like white bread create a spike in insulin it also creates stagnation; symptoms of bloating, gas, constipation or diarrhea, unhealthy skin, headaches, poor sleep and cravings, all are just some of many symptoms that include poor weight loss.

One key ingredient to losing weight is controlling our bread addiction, literally… going cold turkey. We can choose to detox addictions to certain foods like bread, by choosing slow digesting proteins like white meat Turkey and Chicken, and increase monounsaturated fats found in nuts, seeds, eggs, fatty fish, olive and coconut oils and butters.

The healthy fats increase our ability to absorb vitamins, minerals and phytochemicals that fight off inflammation, control appetite and defy aging, while the slow digesting proteins keep insulin levels optimal, are more difficult to store as belly fat and stave off cravings. This means, we burn fat!

Bulimia As An Addiction

Bulimia is more psychological than the physical aspect of eating and purging.
What makes Bulimic’s gorge is often feelings of being out of control and unconscious compulsiveness behavior results.
1. vectorstock_4486678Reptilian brain, our survival instinctual brain.
a. Compulsiveness
b. Repetitive behaviors
c. Rituals
d. Fears
i. Feelings of being out of control

What drives the point home is that many Bulimics choose highly addictive foods, sugar or flour and refined carbohydrates that quickly convert to sugar.
The fact that Bulimia can be linked to addictive foods indicates that a chemical sequence is initiated within the brain. Bulimic’s often gorge on sugars and foods that quickly convert to sugar quickly. Why? Because sugar engages the pleasure reward center of the brain and dopamine is released into the blood stream. Dopamine makes us feel better. This sets a cycle of craving for Dopamine.

To better understand, in compulsive behavior, the reptilian brain and limbic system are engaged, the rational Neo-cortex is not thinking.
When Dopamine craving begins, the Bulimic person enters the addiction cycle.

1. The person is suffering somehow.
2. Their system feels “out of balance” an in-equilibrium exists.
3. When the state of imbalanced reaches a peak, the brain quickly tries to figure out how to bring the system back into balance.
4. Dopamine was the solution in the past, the behavior to unconsciously driven.
5. The person feel temporarily at ease
6. The cycle begins again until the person learns:
a. To engage Dopamine in another manner
b. Finds acceptance, comfort or peace from another source
c. Learns the triggers that begins the cycle: becomes aware
d. Interrupts the cycle
e. The desire to change is greater than the desire to remain the same…
f. Replaces old unconscious patterns with new patterned behavior

ANGER Junkie

If there is a cycle of addiction, anger is clearly one of them. Why are the most popular Favorite T.V. shows about destruction, murder, rape and sexual deviancy? They all combine and become the blueprint for bestsellers that are based on, out of control anger and rage.

When destruction, drama, rage create feelings of excitement in our bodies, when something explodes or we watch frightening depictions of our worst nightmare, then anger addiction may be playing a role.

These types of programs may actually thrive on a human feedback mechanism for predicted Dopamine rewards. Just like the fast food industry has the perfect bundle of ingredients to engage our food addictions, TV acts in the same way.

Drama is our “sex-drugs and rock-n-roll,” an outlet for our personal frustration without having to act out or blow off steam. It may actually fulfill a purpose for easing our own unhappiness and sense of dis-satisfaction, by engaging our hypothalamus to release dopamine and adrenalin into our systems, creating a short term rush of “feel-good” from our internal irritation.

I notice when I am irritated, feel frustrated with life, I like a good crime scene show. Through the watching of the despair, I actually feel better. Sad but I notice it happens. Why is that?

Once the unhappiness turns to feelings of being out of sync, out of control, possibly the cycle includes feelings of being a victim or blaming others for our situation, some or all lead us down the garden path to full-blown irritation.

(For the purpose of this article, Dopamine, in relationship to cause and effect and response to stimulants will be the focus.)

This is where the Dopamine craving enters. Our psyche starts to look for a solution of what helped, ease our pain, in the past, and for many it’s anger… a blow-out, and possibly rage. It becomes a cycle that unconsciously connects the effects of anger to the release of dopamine, which creates the “high”.

Adding in facial expression, pounding a fist or acting out the rage increases the dopamine rush. Bigger is better!

For a short period of time, Dopamine provides the pleasurable euphoric high, feelings of being grand and powerful.

Sadly, when we actually “hurt” someone’s feelings; especially those we love; even better, we get rewarded with a bigger hit of dopamine.  Double reward.

Coming off an “anger dopamine high”; just like alcohol, lust, adultery, gambling and other addictions; a nasty hangover arises. The euphoria gone, replaced with guilt, justification for action and full circle: to unhappiness.

Yes Anger can be directly associated with alcohol. Alcoholics are angrier than the general population! Anger gives people the excuse to drink, temporarily calms, however when people get angrier when they drink, it can destroy marriages, families and other relationships that matter.

Anger just like any addiction, needs to be addressed whether it is a result of old childhood baggage, feeling powerless, out of control, outrage, fear, panic or desperation. Anger has become a “crack-pipe” and is not serving anyone.

Here are some key points of understanding addiction of any kind.

It happens inside our heads.

Firstly, the emotional center, in particular the frontal lobe, does not mature until our 20’s, and many people’s frontal lobes are immature or develop more slowly, maybe never fully. Why this matters is it affects our ability to decide whether to acting before we think.

2ndly, the limbic system is our emotional brain, and where Dopamine is released from the hypothalamus, adrenalin and other “rush” chemicals are also triggered which results in the temporary high. Dopamine is the “dope” we unconsciously crave whenever we feel helpless. The limbic system also creates emotional patterns for any event that we’ve attached an emotion to. When the limbic system recognises an emotional pattern, a sound, a smell, it connects quickly to an old (possibly dysfunctional) experience and unconsciously trigger a behaviour. This can be thought of as high-jacking ourselves.

To affect addictive behavior of any kind, we need to adopt new tools to interrupt the cycle. Get reinforced happiness dopamine release through healthier means. Exercise, laughter, a healthy diet and a good night rests. Meditation and anger management tools also dim these secret cravings.

Learning psychology of how the brain works, brings awareness to our actions. Once we have awareness we can begin to evoke change and take back control of our behavior, addictions and lives. Dopamine can often be the crutch that people blame for their relapses, and blame of any kind removes responsibility from our actions. No one will ever recover until they accept self-responsibility.

Recovering from anger addiction, like any addiction is a reclamation process that takes determination and the deep desire to change ourselves for the better and recover takes daily effort.

Until we meet in person, stay well, live a long and happy life.

You can contact Adele at: Adele@fulfillyourdestiny.ca

http://angermentor.com/secrets-of-anger-addiction-and-why-rage-feels-real-damn-good

http://www.livestrong.com/article/141471-5-types-dopamine-receptors/

http://www.slate.com/articles/health_and_science/science/2013/07/what_is_dopamine_love_lust_sex_addiction_gambling_motivation_reward.html

http://www.angermanagementresource.com/dealing-with-anger.html#addiction-cycle

Racism KKK

How does the Klu Klux Klan exist?

The USA is an interesting study of racism and the KKK, reminiscent of similar mentality shown in the recent shooting of 9 African Americans; President Obama stated that nowhere else in the civilized world do these types event occur. I tend to agree. So why does the KKK say it is expanding in the USA?
There may be several reasons why the USA is a safe harbor for such repugnant cults.

I consider the problem exists, in small pockets; due to a breakdown in some part of psychological development, a strong dominating culture of fear and oppression, which limits safety for normal psychological development, combined with a culture that embraces war mentality? In essence, people are always afraid and in some areas, uneducated…

As we study evolutionary psychology we notice that when people don’t fit within familial or society norm, they seek out a place where they can belong. (kids join KKK or ISIS!) Even with rebellious teens, there is a constant need for stability; they just don’t know understand the cause of their yearning. They feel unstable and are searching for something that stabilizes them. Unfortunately the leaders of cults like the KKK exploited this known psychological fact.

When the psyche is searching for acceptance; relationship identity the second level of psychological development: the need for love and belonging is engaged; when someone feels they don’t fit in anywhere, societies such as the KKK can offer a place to call home.

Within the cult, they are embraced and they feel like they belong. However, belonging in a cult often comes with conditions, toe the line, keep with the rules otherwise you again will NOT belong or even more, maybe you won’t be safe.

The psychology of the cult:

speaks for itself, fear, repression and hierarchy of domination. When a person’s safety is uncertain, Survival psychology is also in play.

Survival identity is the first level psychology and exists when we are born. When we rely on others for our food, water, shelter, this is survival identity.

When we are adults, the same rules apply, we feel unsafe or insecure, we return to survival identity mode. Whenever these fundamentals laws of safety or security feel threatened, we return to survival identity until we feel stable again.

In other words, we live and feel safe because someone else makes it safe, or we change our behavior in order to maintain our security because we may not survive unless we conform and act according to the rules of the dominant.

Governments use these tactics all the time. What code of alert are we living in? Keeping people afraid is a form of control.

The other consideration is, in childhood, there is no rational thought as the neo-cortex has not matured and is not utilized until about the age of 8.

During the childhood phase of development, life experiences are processed through the emotional limbic system. Children are influenced by family and social beliefs, and will be stifled in furthering their development if the environment is unsafe or dominating.

Similar to a cult, when a child’s safety, security and survival are based on conforming to dominating beliefs, the brain not only ingrains but unconsciously reinforces the behavior.

My thoughts are not in any way supportive of racism or the KKK, rather, trying to rationalize why people behave the way they do. It happens for a reason even though we don’t accept it.

And so we understand, while under the influence of a cult or dominating parental or social structure, racism is probable, because between the ages on 0-8 we exist in survival and relationship identity and when we are within these limitations, the acceptance of other people are limited to those that look like us, act like us and speak the same language. If a child is not able to develop further cognitive abilities they do not progress.

If the child was allowed to develop naturally, there would be a point in the teen years where the dominance of the parents and society would diminish and the child would develop their own beliefs based on (hopefully) expanded learning and experience. The teen would begin to rationalize their experiences, generally towards a broader socio, economic and cultural awareness and away from racism and bigotry.

Sadly the news of the KKK expanding its reaches in the USA represents a stop in human psychological evolution. It’s a broader topic that needs further attention.

It’s time to shift

xo

Adele

Wake up and Shift: our desire to change

11119678_10152810948361534_1790932125013429467_oOur desire to change

becomes stronger than our resistance to remain the same. I call this process, the Irresistible Journey. A journey that I believe we are all being “pulled” towards. The concept is explored within Wake up and Shift, through personal anecdotes and by exploring current culture and evens through the evolutionary psychology window.

 

Psychology states that there are 7 stages of mental and emotional development. The 4th stage is where we emerge into soul thinking: where we can discover true happiness and meaning in life. As we progress in our evolution, we feel fulfilled and content; we accept things we cannot change, but are open to change; we embrace diversity, have strong coping skills, foster supportive, loving relationships and strive not to be non-judgemental. However, most of us are stuck in the first 3 phases of psychological development. We let our egos control us and we are perpetually seeking to fulfill our basic human needs, unable or unwilling to evolve to fulfill our higher purpose in life.

 

So, how can we rise above the negativity, control our egos and become soul thinkers? My purpose for the Incredible Journey webinars is to help you achieve a complete personal and professional holistic makeover through a process of self-discovery, recovery

and transformation.

Check out my new book on Amazon!
xox

Adele

 

http://www.amazon.ca/WAKE-UP-Shift-Adele-Anderson-ebook/dp/B011F37ASU/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1436715156&sr=8-1&keywords=wake+up+and+shift

Runaway Brain

Brain like a cracked light bulb is working overtime. Learn skills to keep your neo-cortex enagaged
Your brain is like a cracked light bulb working overtime. Learn skills to keep your neo-cortex engaged

To understand better, some insight into psychology is needed. We need to understand our brains and our own psychology in order to understand “Lazy Listening”.

Lazy listening is a process where we allow our Reptilian and Limbic brain functions to “fill in the blanks” rather than actively listening to what we are hearing. By allowing this function to occur, our brain leaps forward into a pre-determined reactive or emotional pattern that results in a lot of misunderstandings.

EI: As a child, you may have experienced a fright with being left in the dark. Someone or something frightened you. The result? You developed a fear of the dark. When the lights go out you feel frightened, sweaty, short of breath and fearful of what might happen. This entire process is purely an engagement of an old neural pathway, triggering a chemical reaction in the brain. However the consequence is, Adrenalin courses through your system and engages the flight or fright mechanism. You are no longer able to think rationally. Your blood pressure is elevated and your stress level it out of control.

Humans have 3 brains:
1. The Reptilian Brain- the reactive instinctual brain.
2. The Limbic Brain system rests on top of the Reptilian brain- our emotional patterns brain.
3. The Neo-Cortex sits on top the Limbic brain system- and is called our rational brain. (Does not fully mature until the age of 7-8 years)
a. This means our development years are all survival (reactive) and emotional brain patterns. Reactive and emotional neural patterns become deeply ingrained prior to our ability to rationalize. Think about that!

Why is it important to remove lazy listening from your psychology? Listening is a skill that is a shortage and in demand. People that practice active listening are:
i. More effective and productive
ii. Have more chances to influence others and gain advancement
iii. Develop trust, respect and rapport with others
iv. Are considered better leaders and team members.
v. Make better customer service representatives
vi. Are persuasive and are better negotiators
vii. Avoid misunderstandings

Facts are (Adler, R Rosenfeld L Proctor, R 2001)
• 70% of our day communicating.
o 45% Listening
o 30% Speaking
o 16% Reading
o 9% Writing

Listening is not the same are hearing. “I hear ya” But do you really?

Active listening requires effort:
• Stop talking, don’t think about your rebuttal, make eye contact, focus, remove distraction and prepare yourself to listen.
• Relax, breathe and put the speaker at ease, give them your attention
o Nod, gesture, lean inward, make eye contact, paraphrase
• Empathize, understand their perspective, be open-minded, impartial, suspend judgement, do not jump to conclusions.
• Listen for ideas, themes, threads of conversation, the story. Watch for non-verbal gestures, what is not being said is just as important, expression and eye movement.
• Listen for tone, emotion, verbal and non-verbal clues.

Listening requires MORE than the sense of hearing.

Barriers to listening:
• Anxiety
• Fear
• Anger
• Frustration
• Impatience
• Lack of sleep
• Distraction
• Short attention span
• Limbic Brain system: emotional pattern recognition
• Limbic Brain system: reactive

Learning how to dis-engage the Limbic Brain. Slowing down your thinking processes; by active listening; allows time for the Neo-Cortex to engage. Allow time to focus on what is being said; without engaging your emotional pattern recognition process. Breathe, focus, remove distraction and be impartial.

By being impartial you have a better opportunity to detach an emotional recognition pattern of the limbic system. It is your choice to attach an emotion to an event or a story. It’s NOT your story. It is THEIR story.

By allowing them to tell their story, without you engaging to your personal emotional neural pattern, you will keep your heart rate steady and think with your Neo-cortex brain about what is being said rather than becoming emotionally engaged.

The brain has the capacity to think 600% faster than most people talk. The brain is going a mile-a-minute in the background; while someone else is talking; running all types of “what-if” scenarios, rebuttals, I had the same experiences… let me tell you mine…… let ME talk. Or thinking about how long till you pick up the kids, or what’s for dinner; instead of actively listening to what is being said. Considering you will only retain 25-50% OF WHAT is being said, give it your best shot!

Stopping the chatter, and learning “active listening” skills. Stop reacting!

When we engage emotionally, we have more chance of making assumptions; ingrained emotional neural patterns of the Limbic Brain; or make judgmental, opinions or rebuttals, rather than slow open minded rational thought.

Quick responses are more likely to be reactive or emotionally biased, and don’t fare well in any situation. Over-reaction adds stress.

So step back, listen fully, respectfully and respond with an inquisitive mind.

1. I use a little tool. I pinch my thumb and for-finger together, signalling my brain that I am now paying attention to what is being said. I lean in and make eye contact.
a. It is a small physical signal that sets me into the “mode” of listening. It becomes automated. If you catch yourself drifting, then paraphrase; get back on track; to make sure you are following the thread.
Repeat the pressure of thumb and forefinger, lean in, make eye contact. Paraphrase, focus.
2. Be inquisitive! By being interested, you train your brain to actively listen to what is being said.
3. By clarifying that you truly understood what is being said, you can engage the brain in a different pattern of thinking, which creates new neural pathways. It shows respect, builds trust, rapport.
a. “I’m curios; are you saying…..” I am not sure I understood, can you give me an example?
b. I notice…
4. Don’t interrupt! When we become excited or emotionally engaged, we have a tendency to interrupt. You will always learn more by listening than by talking.
5. Remember, it is not “your” story, it is theirs, try not to highjack it!! By attaching an emotion to an event you are making it YOUR story. It is not YOUR story.
a. An emotional response is simply a recognition of 3 points of a similar story. An emotional patterns often deeply ingrained in our Limbic system before the age of 8 is engaged. As you know, assumptions are quite often wrong. 8 year old emotional patterns; brought forward by the Limbic brain recognizing a beginning of a pattern can add allot of stress to anyone’s life and stress is not healthy for anyone.
6. Listen until they have stopped talking and then breathe thoughtfully before you respond. By pausing before responding, you will have their full attention.
These small effective tools will allow your mind to remain calm and all your internal mechanisms will respond in the same manner. When using rational thought processes, we are less likely to engage an emotional response.

Emotional responses are stressors…why it is important, for your health not to continually engage stressors and the chemical process that are initiated.

Watch for more articles of how we can overcome.