Anyone experienced loneliness?
They can tell you, the wound of loneliness is deep. As deep as any physical injury. Yet wounds of the mind aren’t often recognized as such. And if you’re trying to lose weight? It’s affecting you more than mentally emotionally. It is affecting your desire for your future.
Dr. Guy Winch describes loneliness to a psychological injury. It distorts our perception of the world. Not only that. It is linked to similar health consequences caused by smoking cigarettes or having high blood pressure. Or high cholesterol. Loneliness is linked to weight gain and over-eating. And a depressed immune response. These are only a few of the physical concerns of being lonely.
Loneliness arises from many life circumstance.
And maybe you’re trying to lose weight so you feel better about getting out there and finding a mate or friend? If that’s the case. We need to understand what’s happening inside our minds before we attempt to lose weight.
For example, if someone recently left a relationship. They may be feeling lonely. therefore they seek comfort in other things. Like high fat foods. Overeating and hunkering down. Finding comfort in food rather than friends.
Rejection also has a cycle. One related to an addiction cycle. Anxiety and stress rises when separated from someone. Whether its a child, lover or our self. rejection can also create self-limiting beliefs, lower self esteem and self worth.
In fact statistics say, loneliness makes us 14% more likely to die. The old saying goes; “she died of loneliness”, may be truer than we think.
When feelings of loneliness permeate our mind.
Our body and soul aches. Sink into bad habits, subconscious driven behavior that can hurt us in the long run.
Many of us eat to make ourselves feel better. But then, uncontrolled eating can make us feel miserable, out of control. It is a cycle. When this happens, many deepen the wound by self-inflicting mental cruelty. Like rubbing salt in a fresh cut. Our mental rumination becomes self induced malice. When we don;t like ourselves. We may wonder; “If I don’t like me,” will anyone else likes us. This can make us feel separate. Or make us withdrawal.
We then tend to look inward rather than reaching out for help.
Our loneliness actually deepens a sense of separation. In the worse cases, it can drive some into clinical depression.
Winch goes on to say that negative and cruel rumination is habit forming and can cause us to limit our potential to succeed. So when we discuss weight loss, the same rings true. He goes as far as to say that many people’s “default self-limiting beliefs” convince them not to succeed. Meaning they operate below their full potential.
But there is hope; rumination can be interrupted through distraction. Once we become aware of our negative habit, we can interrupt our pattern with as little as a 2 minute distraction. Within a few short weeks, our negative pattern is lessoned and we rise above our lonely feelings.
We understand that changing one’s mind can be difficult. This is because our default belief system gives us an automated response to lonely. Yet something as simplistic as distraction can reverse the psychological and physical harm.
We understand that loneliness impacts our ability to access our willpower.
Loneliness is one big reason why we fail at dieting. When our willpower is suppressed, we tend to eat to make ourselves feel better. Unfortunately this form of “food” distraction, is self limiting and perpetuates our demise. The shot of Dopamine that floods our system, when we snack on high calorie junk food, quickly fades before cycling downward towards depression. The facts are the willpower is lost whenever we are HUNGRY, ANGRY. LONELY or TIRED. Known as H.A.L.T. in the neuro-science world. Mind science says we need a different way of losing weight. One that breaks the mind-mapping cycle.
There are plenty of reasons to change our ways, beyond weight loss.
Rising beyond outdated self-limiting beliefs, breaking out of the habit of reacting to life allows us to shift on many levels.
Creating new ingrained pattern of behavior that is healthy, positive and productive is key. And if we are lonely, reach out. First by recognizing that we need help. then taking the steps towards help.
One way is by looking at your evolutionary psychology. Known as deficiencies in our psychological growth. Almost everyone has them. They are fondly known as EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE.
Love and belonging is part of the second layer of our psychological evolution. If you didn’t feel loved as a child. Whether it was real of imagined. You will have emotional baggage. Bringing awareness to these painful experiences are only part of the solution. And it doesn’t have to be hard or painful.
By finding a experienced practitioner, you can have them aide you in removing outdated anchors that inhibit our ability to feel loved and cared for. Then install new anchors of honoring and loving yourself.
A key element of loneliness is believing we are not worthy of a community. It keeps us lonely through isolation. When our natural human nature is to gather.
It is a mis-wired mind pattern that is halting the ability to engage with life. And you may not feel you have the energy. Because the science says that loneliness inhibits willpower. Making it challenging to get over.
Neuro-science states that whenever we are Hungry, Angry, Lonely or tired, Willpower fails. We then fall into a pattern of behavior that is subconsciously driven within our limbic brain. Meaning we are not driving the train. We are on auto-pilot. Unfortunately it is most likely unproductive and dysfunctional.
Take control of your life!
By learning how to engage the neo-cortex and remove the need to rely on willpower, we can begin to operate at our full potential. No need to convince ourselves of our success. We have made success a mindset. By getting rid of or eliminating self-limiting belief systems. First by taking control of our minds.
I believe cleaning up our psychology is the next human leap in, not only will it change our own lives, but that of mankind.
N.L.P. can get you there faster and I can help.