3 common Mistakes Married Woman make: Ruin their Relationship

Magical Marriage

3 Common Mistakes married women make that can ruin your marriage. How a married woman can experience true happiness, gets the sizzle back, and AVOID making these mistakes ONCE and for all!

Married Woman Mistake #3: Over-Reliance on CONSUMABLE #Happiness

Married Woman Mistake #2: Not understanding the #ArtofWarandPeace

Married Woman Mistake #1: Not knowing their #Relationship Genius

 

By the end of this report you will know:

  • The 3 common Married Woman mistakes that contribute to you constantly arguing and feeling dis-appointed and unhappy in your marriage.
  • More importantly, you will know how to AVOID THESE COSTLY marriage MISTAKES once and for all
  • These easy practical strategies and steps that a married woman can implement right away.

I am going to count the top 3 married woman mistakes down from 3 to 1. You will want to read all the way to the end.

All the information is AMAZING…and… the last mistake will completely change how you relate to yourself and your partner.

Let’s get to it!

  Mistake #3

The 3rd biggest mistake you can make as a married Woman; that keeps you unhappy and worried about ruining your marriage.

Over-reliance on Consumable Happiness

 

  • What is consumable happiness? Allowing your feelings of happiness to be controlled by someone else’s action or inaction or by buying “stuff” to fill the happiness void. I call this feeding your body rather than your soul.

 

  • Happiness is defined as a feeling of joy, contentment and satisfaction. Free from cares, light-hearted and overall feelings of well-being.

 

  • Example 1: if you are a skier, and there is fresh powder on the hill and sun in the sky. Imagine you are with your best friends slaloming downhill, laughing and sharing the day together. Just thinking about it, makes you feel happy.

 

Enjoyable EXPERIENCES shared with others bring joy.

 

  •  Example 2: The birth of your first child, a niece or grandchild. A long awaited dream come true. These feelings may feel fresh and bring tears, just by telling your experience.

 

  •  Example of Consumable happiness: Quick! When you were 10 what was your best Christmas present? Can you remember?

 

  • Ok, what was your Best Christmas and why? I best it was an experience rather than a thing…………….So how do you find long term happiness while
  • avoiding chronic unhappiness?

 

Even more important for a married woman to know is …….what are the health consequences of unhappiness?

 

#Psychology says LOTS! So don’t miss this ……….

                                                                                                       it’s important……………..

 

 Psychology says #unhappiness breeds a tri-fold of mental, physical and spiritual health concerns.

#Tension, worry, unhappiness, #stress, #anger, frustration and irritation all have the ability to negatively impact your immune system.

 

#Psychologist Gwen Randall-Young says: each time your negative emotions are engaged, your immune system is suppressed for 6-8 hours. This leaves your body and mind vulnerable to illness and disease. Combine that with environmental exposure to toxins and poor eating habits and your “psychological constitution” is a significant contributing factor.

 

 A weakened immune response leaves you at higher risk of

Heart disease and cancer!

 

 Some examples:

The Mind:

  • Feeling Irritable, bitchy, short temper, self-critical or moody.
  • Suffering lack of attention span, depression, anger, loss of sleep or anxiety.
  • Feeling unloved, dis-satisfied on a roller coaster.
  • Running negative scenarios over and over in your head……..

The Body:

  • Feeling Sluggishness, loss of energy or body pain.
  • Noting lower metabolism, weight gain, numbness, tension or short of breath. Recurrent colds, sore throat, Suppressed immunity and more…..

The Spiritual:

  • Loss of interest
  • Disconnected
  • Dis-engaged
  • Depression….

 

The chemical process:

Unhappiness results in “Sad” chemicals being released and cascade through your system, further elevating Stress which is the leading cause of Heart-Disease and the #1 cause of death of women.

 

 How do you change your mindset, be more positive and find true happiness?

Here are 3 ways you can start today.

1. Accept responsibility for your own happiness. You are the only person that can truly make yourself happy.

2. Learn the Art of war and Peace

3. Find your Relationship-Genius and finding the Sizzle…

Are you ready to begin………

 

#Psychology says:

  • Aligning with core values is one key factor in humans finding happiness.

 

  • It is essential to our #psychological evolution; a deeply ingrained need.

 

#Core-values are your true self, true north and ethical compass and provide passion, a sense of purpose and harmony to your life.

 

Small things…… like being positive in your thoughts, speech, even smiling contributes to feeling happier.

 

Consciously practice positive thoughts, joy, feelings of peacefulness engages “happy” chemical processes in our brains, reducing “sad” chemical processes that are produced by stress, depression, anxiety etc.

 

Why is it important?  Aligning your core values, engages the “happy chemical processes”; #Dopamine, #Oxytocin, #Serotonin and Noradrenaline.

When these chemicals are present in our systems we experience feelings of #happiness, improved sleep, reduced pain and anxiety, and increased feelings of self-love.

 

Aligning our intention, finding things you enjoy, being honest with yourself and others and honoring self-love all contribute to happiness.

How else can we improve our health and happiness?

 

Schedule down-time for yourself

  1. Find things you enjoy such as music, fitness or meditation. Find new possibilities. Nourishing your body, mind and spirit stimulates new intentions, hopefulness and expands your dreams.
  2. Learn to do the things you love and you will learn to love yourself.

 

Don’t neglect yourself!

  1. The way we treat ourselves will be the standard of how others will treat us!

 

LET ME REPEAT

The way we treat OURSELVES, will be the standard of

                                                                                      how others will treat us………

 

  1. Fact is, women who take care of themselves are happier and healthier. They tend to have healthier happier families, so take care of your needs first, it’s a win/win.

 

  1. Honor self-love.

 

Mistake # 2

The 2nd biggest mistake a married Woman make, that can keep you unhappy and worried about ruining your marriage is not understanding:

 

The Art of War & Peace

What does not understanding the Art of War and Peace mean? Men and women communicate differently, you need to learn to talk like your man. Fighting Fair builds strong marriages.

3 important factors you need to know. Peaceful conflict resolution, active listening and minimizing automated response mechanisms.

Defining War: Struggle, offensive action, attack, hostile, combative or clashing.

 

Defining Peace: Peace-loving, Gentle, benevolent, inoffensive, non-aggressive, easy going, friendly, harmony, civilized.

 

Examples of differences in Male and Female communication:

Male: Men have been taught to not express their emotions. I bet you’ve heard the saying…..

“Real Men don’t cry”…….

Male communication is based on finding the source of the problem and finding a solution. Men typically don’t share until they have the problem solved, so hold off on offering a solution, he will think you don’t respect him.

 

Female: Women talk far more than Men. Women want to share how you were feeling and to know he cares….. Women communicate to bond, to build relationships, to feel connected. Women share their feelings, their inner world. Women communicate in order to solve their problems, they may talk about their problems as they are working towards a solution.

 

What it is NOT similar to talking with a man?

You best gal pals. You listen, share, bond, laugh, cry, give and receive a hug, give a pat on the back, say you understand.

 

Example of Female Male communication:

She has had a bad day. She may go through a whole range of emotions as she expresses herself fully. THIS scares him half to death! His mind is hunting for the source of her bad day…. And when he finds the source, he quickly searches for a solution. Whew…… he thinks as he spouts out a solution to her bad day.

 

OK well that is all fixed now, let’s move on.

 

She feels hurt that he hasn’t listened to her, just doesn’t get her at all, she just needed a friend to listen and maybe have a hug.

 

He’s confused because it his “job” to fix things. He feels like he has let her down.

 

Example: Peaceful Resolution skills:

Step by step tools to work through any crisis. Knowing how to diffuse emotions and find diplomatic solutions to conflict. To find the WIN/WIN.

 

Example: Active listening:

Active listening is a learned skill that positively affects communication, perception, respect, trust and the ability to engage the empathy of others. Active listening is a game changer.

 

Example: Automated Response: A car horn blasts, your body recoils, arm pits sweat, neck hair stands. Your heart skips a beat and you jump away from a perceived harm. This is a Reptilian Brain automated (mind map) survival response.

 

Example: Automated response: A previous partner was untrustworthy. But you’re now married to a great guy. However, every time your husband returns late from work, you are upset, jealousy and suspicious. This defines a Limbic Brain automated emotional (mind Map) neural pattern.

 

Why is it important to understand, because ……….

 ………………………………Communication can make or break your relationship!

 

Female communication: is more of more. It is about experience, the feelings, the emotion and the impact of an event. Females communicate to create intimacy, to share feelings, to bonding, and to express emotion of what they are going through.

Women communicate because they want to vent their frustration, or communicate how they feel, the entire experience. Women feel better after expression.

Women have formulated to solution to their problem and will ask for help if they need help but don’t necessarily want to “fix” that their husband is definitely going to offer.

Example: The more upset you are, the more desperately he is going to want to fix the problem and move on. It’s his “job”. He takes it seriously. He thinks it is showing how much he loves you, taking care of you……

You get angry or frustrated or irritated because you don’t feel he listened to you. The more upset you get, from his solution; the more he gets lost.

 

Male communication:

In less touchy feely and more functional language. Men are solution based communicators. Their mind quickly looks for a solution to a problem. Let’s call them “fixers”.

 

Men have a tougher time sharing their emotions. Men think through their experiences or problems before sharing.

 

Men already have the solution when they share with you. Men do not ask for help as they are formulating their plan long before they offer it out to you.

 

When men share, it is to “inform” you about something, not necessary for discussion.

 

They will be offended if YOU think

they need your help in  finding a solution.

 

LET ME HELP: CLICK HERE

Or I am happy to offer 30 minutes FREE Consult! Call Adele 604-885-0562

 

Why is it important to know the differences in how Men and Women communicate? Conflict is the #1 cause of divorce.

Because it is a fact! Men and Women communicate differently. If you don’t know the differences, your relationship will struggle.

 

If you struggle, your mind mapping is in negative mode and your immune system also struggles. It’s not healthy!

 

There are definite concrete steps you can take TODAY!

  • Recognize your emotional (mind map) neural and listening pattern

 

  • When in France, speak French. When you really want to talk to your man, MAN-TALK.

 

WHY?

Automated emotional (mind map)neural patterns will continue to sabotage you. We all have baggage, it is whether we deal with our baggage of let it rule our worlds.

 

  • Constantly engaging frustration due to lack of communication can result in a big gap in your relationship.
  • Fighting interferes with intimacy.

 

  • Lack of Intimacy results in less nurturing, lessor forms of affection and creates resentment. Poor communication leads to WAR. War leads to ……

 

  • Any level of war breeds unhappiness and negativity in marriage, which lowers our immune response and this can interfere with our health!

 

 

We all know how quickly a disagreement can escalate out of control….. Learn to communicate differently…..

 

TOOLS

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 Call: 604-885-0562

More about Adele Anderson

Quick psychology of the Brain

 Humans have 3 brains and ………..2 of them ……..can mess you up.  

 This is helpful stuff you need to know….. Read carefully!

  • Fear, Flight, Fight reactive Reptilian Brain response is an evolutionary instinctual (mind map) response: a survival mechanism that you have NO CONTROL over.

 

  • “Automatic coping mechanisms” identify the Limbic brains’ automated emotional (min Maps) neural patterns, created by emotional experiences more often created before the age of 8.

 

  • Neo-Cortex develops by age 7-8 and is the rational mind. When the other 2 lessor brains are engaged, you have a more difficult time engaging the Neo-Cortex. It takes about 3 seconds to fully analyze a situation. It is known as “slow brain” thinking,

 

Please take a minute and download your FREE REPORT today!

Psychology of active listening

 

Take your time…… I’ll wait on the next page

Here’s another helpful list. DOWNLOAD NOW: FREE 

Checklist to Fighting Fair

Take your time, I’ll wait!

 

 ….. Welcome back! Are you ready?

Common Mistake #1

 The most important thing you need to know about being happy within your relationship

Find your Relationship Genius! And then TURN up the sizzle

What is a relationship genius? I will use psychology to help you find yours. Your Relationship genius is your natural talent, your “specialness” and it is found within your personal life journey. Identifying your genius can be so exciting!

Example: You are a compassionate and empathetic caregiver, and yet this amazing part of yourself is lost on the home battlefront…… Emotional huts can cause one to hide the vulnerable parts of oneself.

When we don;t let go or don’t know how to let go of old patterns we find it difficult to be loving, be interested in sexual activity and to be playful; like it was in the beginning. Learning how to release old patterns and introduce new patterns can be as easy as 1,2,3. Neuro-Linguistic programming is an excellent tool to changing or shifting perception and allowing us to step into our power and excellence.

Why is it important to find? Carrying old scars, wounds, emotional baggage is heavy. It takes effort and it side-tracks us when we really just need to move on. When we move on we empower our self. It means we trust the process, learn and grow, it makes us stronger in every way. It gives you self-worth, self-esteem, value, passion and a sense of personal satisfaction. It adds happiness and fulfillment to your life. Happiness means less quarrels and a stronger bond with your spouse.

How can you find your Relationship Genius?

 1. Focus on your strengths. Natural talent. Start with what are you good at. This is the beginning of finding your genius.

2. What are the things you practice, practice and practice?

  • Your genius has been crafted, worked, refined over time. James Clear defines the 10 years of hard work prior to genius as “ then years of silence

Genius is a talent you have discovered and nurtured over the years, we just need to access it and that can be achieved through coaching. Once you have your genius front and center you are on the sizzle road. You can choose how you want to flourish your genius. Where in your marriage you want to place more emphasis. Like everything it does take time, effort and awareness of why it is important to you, your marriage and your future. When we know why, it is easy to set aside the time.

Set aside time, schedule time to nurture your genius. Experiment, maybe it is time to take a romantic getaway and test out your genius. Time to play together and build stronger bonds. Time to laugh, sit quietly or have those deep conversations of old.

Give yourself a deadline so you keep moving your sizzle forward. test it out and complete your refinement!

Silence your inner critic, reject the limits you place on yourself. Marriage can be a great growth experience and there may be way more to discover than you believed in the beginning. As your partner to participate.

3. Share your ideas with girlfriends; who have great marriages, get feedback. Ask your friends to tell you what they think your best characteristics are. You will be rewarded with inspiration.

And remember, If nobody sees your genius …. You miss out and so does your partner and your marriage!

  1. Practice, complete and share the sizzle, take the feedback and improve, refine, repeat, daily, monthly, yearly.

 

#Genius shows up in things you just know. Things that you are an expert at, because you have honed your talent. Discover yours……

Here are some other way to begin…… NEED HELP?

Magical marriage Sizzle weekend: 2 nights oceanfront accommodation. 1 hour lesson in couples massage techniques. 90 minute Genius coaching session ([email protected])

 

  1. Refine your core values, why they resonate with you and which ones in particular identify your greatest passion.
  1. Now relate your core values to your genius to your relationship. Line up the stars.
    • Define it, describe it, what is it?
    • Why do you love it?
  • Where in your relationship can you use this talent the most?
  • How can you practice and refine your genius in your relationship?
  • How does it serve you? How does it serve your relationship? It’s like aligning YOUR stars.
  • What are the spin-offs?
  • How can you improve it even more?
    • What are the steps?
      • Start, create, practice, improve, share, feedback, repeat…….repeat….repeat.

 

  1. If it has been a while since you have laughed. Watch children laugh! Delight in the laughter of a baby. Watch a funny movie. Lighten your heart, laughter heals, laughter is creative and you learn more when you laugh.

 

  1. Learn to be playful, learn to laugh, find freedom in fun. Dance, sing, pray. ………Remember when you used to laugh?
  1. I can’t stress this enough…….work to silence your inner critic. You are limited by what you think you can or can not do.
  1. Pursue your desires. Make a small step towards your desire each and every day?
  1. Reward yourself for trying new things!
  1. Try Mind mapping! Make visual boards with all your dreams and desires. Link together words, ideas, color and images about what your relationship will be.
  • What does your perfect relationship look like, feel like, sounds like. Close your eyes and visualize.
  • Write it down, read it every day. Breathe it, affirm it, and believe it is already there.
  1. Creativity is a powerful mind mapping tool and provides a fun way to solve life’s problems. Use your creativity!
  1. Forget assumptions, mind maps can be old brain patterns that no longer serve you, build a new frontier.

Be OK with uncertainty, accept that life is all about change and you’ll be exactly where you need to be even without a road-map. NEED HELP?

Commitment fee (refundable) strategy session. 30 minutes Pay $97 +GST and as long as you keep your appointment, there will be no charge…… THIS IS MY GIFT FOR YOU!

We will talk about what YOU want and NEED.

 

  1. Remember that negative emotions can suppress your immune reaction, each and every time negativity engages. For 6-8 hours, your body is left without resistance and this is a HUGE danger to your health.

 

  1. Fighting with your spouse can ruin your marriage.

 

Learn how to communicate, limit old emotional patterns that no longer serve you and discover your relationship Genius!

 

If you need more details, call me direct: Happy to answer all your questions about our upcoming event!

Call Katie to set up your appointment: 1-604-885-0562

[email protected]