Why do we hate our body?
How about this morning. Rub your belly? Did you pull open your P.J.’s? Then take a sideways look in the mirror? Did you think twice about breakfast?Wonder if you should cut back on calories today? How many outfits did you try? To get the one that looks good. Continue reading 97% of Women hate their body
Is it possible to be unknowingly committing Passive Suicide?
Passive suicide sounds provocative. It is more normal than we think. Letting life slide. Feeling dominated at work or home. Discover how passive suicide shows up in every day situations.
What is Passive Suicide?
Have you ever just “given up the reins.” Let someone else make all the calls? Sounds benign? Not to our brains. Our brains like active roles. Passivity is detrimental to our well-being. The wrong signals are sent to our brain. Passivity to our brain…a signal that we don’t really care.
And as we may know. Our thoughts directly affect the action we take each and everyday. Passive thoughts becomes passive engagement. Passivity could be critical to our health. It could be suicidal.
Dr. Bernie Siegel offers a great read. His book, Mind Medicine and Miracles is psychology and health. I loved the book. Great information on health and recovery. Learning that we can empower our recovery. Impact our long term health through some pretty basic steps.
He talks about Passive Suicide. Doctor patient relationships. Illuminating important yet underutilized Psychology research. Understanding psychology of health is important.
What else could be considered Passive Suicide?
Not pursuing passion. Suppressing emotions. Not doing what needs to be done. Allowing someone else make all the decisions.
Passive decisions, a faulty belief system that limits our power.
Why? Limiting ourselves to “Comfortable choices”, is a form of inaction. Not actively being involved in a discussion that involves us, is dangerous. Ignoring choices that may challenge, is a form of passive suicide.
Dr. Caroline Bedall Thomas of John Hopkins University Medical School goes onto say, the frequency of passive suicide remains unknown. Is definitely a factor in recovering from any life threatening illness.
Examples of Passive Suicide
MINE: “Dragging my feet”. Not getting my program out there. Fear of rejection. Holding back from passionate and rewarding work.
What’s stops me? FEAR based emotions! That little voice inside my head! Outdated beliefs about success and lifestyle. Success may change my life. I actually love the life I have.
Other common examples of passive Suicide life?
A: Want to lose weight? Diet and exercise is key. We fail to eat well balanced meals. Fail to exercise.
B: Fight with our partner? It causes our relationship to struggle. We know its emotional baggage. It may be painful to look into our past. Learn how to remove these triggers. Correct them forever. Result, a better relationship. A happier life. Yet we do nothing.
C: We hear the alarm. Wake tired. Didn’t sleep well. Stress at work. Take 5 minutes to meditate. It absolutely helps. We don’t.
D: Have a stiff body. Stretching helps. Refuse to do.
E: Struggling? We need help. Delay making an appointment.
Why does our brain think these simple life examples a form of passive suicide?
Thoughts are processed. What does an act of passiveness tell our brain? How would our brain categorize that? Indecision? Possibly fear of trying. Fear of the unknown. Result? Stress hormones flood our bodies. Inhibit our immune function. Feelings of confusion. Loss of control. Doubt our capabilities. Self- esteem and self-worth suffer. And we lower our immune response.
Ignoring the “hard choice” requires our brain not only adjusts the chemicals and hormone mix. Which adjusts our behavior. Actions follow. We do nothing. It’s not healthy.
Does “passiveness” sound good for health?
Here’s a loaded question. Forget passive suicide.
If you had only one day to live. What would you do? Nothing? Would you chose to feel the sun on your face? Open a window. Listen to the soft sweet sound of a birds’ song. Step outside. Feel the cool gentle breeze move through your hair. Go to the beach? Hug a friend. Tell the ones you love, that you love them. What would you do? Do nothing… ? I hope not…
I’ll tell you my own story of only having “one day to live”.
I was 27. My life forever changed. Flying high, a passenger in a amphibious ultra-light plane.
A beautiful sunny day looking at patchwork landscapes. Feeling the wind on my face. It was wonderful.
The pilot pointed to the winding river below. Deciding to swoop down. The plane tilt sharply. My back press into the seat with the extra speed. The engine rev behind me. Diving towards the river. The plane continued to speed up. Speed meant quickly skipping across the surface and back up into the sky.
Something went terribly wrong. The landing gear was down. The plane struck the water hard. Catching the landing gear. Immediately flipped from tail to head. Breathing in, my mouth filled with acidic tasting water. I chose to swallow the water, keeping my oxygen inside.
Careering upside down a fast flowing river. Water black, murky. Blind. Confused. Debris hit my head. More tumbled around my body. Cold water rushed by. Hair dragged through mouth and eyes. I tried to get free. Failed. Securely locked into my 3 point harness, meant to save my life.
Knowledge? I had been a life guard. A strong swimmer. Could hold my breath? yes! For how long? 45 seconds? 60 seconds? 2 minutes? Probably not. How long?
I could remember back. Challenging myself to swim a 50 foot pool underwater.. Recall the feeling of energy leaving my body. That feeling I knew. How long?
This was different. Not a pool. I couldn’t breach the surface. Better figure it out fast. How to save my life. The answer evaded me.
My attention now drawn inward. My life began to flash in front of my eyes. Was I dying?
Passively, I watched the thousands of images. My life in great detail. The images slowed.
Police officers walked up my parents sidewalk. Their heavy boots climbing the big red brick stairs. Knocking on the front door. The door opened. My Mother. First looking confused. The realization, horror in her eyes. Her heart breaking scream shattered my passive state.
Her body crumpled to the floor. Back to reality.
How many seconds? I did not know. Time stopped. Time is relevant to the observer. What did it mean?
Fully awake again. I must do something! I am NOT GOING TO DIE! Not today. Not like this.
That single thought changed my life. My brain “rewound”. Backwards flashing images. A memory. The exact information I needed.
It was a movie. Watched long ago. I didn’t remember the name…. (go figure) The scene, clearly remembered. A commander teaching young pilots how to escape a plane. One that had crashed, overturned in water.
The short story? I followed the script. Saved my life. I escaped the plane. I survived.
The moral of the story. Don’t be passive.
The instant I gave my brain a job. Incredible, powerful things happened. I needed a solution. Needed it fast. My brain did exactly what was needed. I made a choice. My brain went to work.
If you consider, being upside down in a water-filled plane. It may have seemed hopeless. I could have thought, I am “stuck”. I “can’t” get out! (ever felt that way)
A passive choice would have been suicide.
Initiating change can be challenging. Engaging ourselves in any decision, set us up for greater success. The simple act of engaging can hold magnificent power.
It’s true in my work.
I never want to have a client that isn’t actively involved. It sets us both up to fail. With devastating consequences.
A person that isn’t actively pursuing the best positive outcome, often self-sabotages.
Do you know someone who walked away? Know someone who was offered their dream job? The job they fought for.
Passive and self-sabotage.
In Mind Medicine and Miracles, Dr. Siegal studies the 20%. He calls them exceptional patients.
Why? Only 20% of us engage in the process of healing. Actively pursuing the outcome. Make the necessary changes. The hard choices. Do whatever it takes. They are the survivors. Passive suicide is not an option.
Changes may challenge us. Challenge creates “resilience”. Our brain to finds strategies. Creative ways to ensure our success. Challenge results in healthy neuro-chemicals flooding our bloodstream. Increases our Fighter T cells. Our bodies FIGHT!
By making a decision. We take action, body mind and soul.
Life is all about change. Yet humans resist change.The old primitive Reptilian brain. Tells us there might be a wholly Mammoth outside. Keeps us fearful of change. Keeps us sticking with the norm. What we already know and understand. We feel “safe” by not changing. Yet it becomes our demise.
How can we stop contributing to passive suicide?
By understanding how out thoughts engage our brain subconsciously.
We must be willing to do the work. Contribute to our own wellness. In every possible way.
How can we help ourselves?
- Learn from the 20% exceptional patient.
- Become an active participant. Your best advocate.
- Seek support. Be the change.
- What would you learn from this experience.
- Question attitudes and perception.
- Find the stress triggers. Stress is the big daddy of illness. How we relate to stress and the fear around situations in life can allow us to make the hard choices for positive change.
- What is the tough decisions; “Am I sending and “passive suicide” message to my brain.
Contact me: firstname.lastname@example.org
Stay well out there xox
I’m here to help. I’m Adele Anderson from Fulfill Your Destiny?
“Before I let someone else decide something major in my life,
I will ask; Am I sending my brain the wrong message?
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Practice Warrior Love
When we speak to our inner warrior are we kind?
Or, do we beat up our Inner Warrior, the one that believes in us at all times, unless we tell it not to.
Our inner warrior is an easy target. Self inflicting pain is the way we often chose to hurt ourselves. How often do we recognize that we beat ourselves up, doubt our power, lessen our belief in ourselves. How often. Often.
Why do we do it? When we hurt, we sometimes blame ourselves for the pain we feel. Whether it is loneliness, stress, disappointed love, lose of a job or plane old unhappiness, it is easier to blame ourselves and fall into a pattern of self blame. Why is it easy to head down the dark side? because, I notice that human beings can be terribly fragile. We are insular when we hurt, we have a difficult time reaching out. And the cycle of fighting our inner warrior becomes a pattern, maybe even a scape goat?
So what is blame all about? Understanding self limiting beliefs that allow us to blame ourselves when things are not perfect in our lives can become a pattern that limits our higher expression of who we want to be, who we are and how much we shine. Possibly blaming our inner warrior keeps us safe from a more powerful expression of greatness. Then we would really have put ourselves on the line and then what, what then if we fall from a greater height.
Beating ourselves up, is another way to say I am afraid of my own greatness. If I keep myself small, I won’t challenge or risk too much. It is safer…. maybe not.
Consider how empowering our self is an elemental key to our success, happiness and enjoying the full richness our our being. Notice when we feel strong and we love our inner warrior how we naturally shine, easily effortlessly and in harmony with our being.
I believe empowering our self is the link to spirit and to our higher connection with all that we hope and dream possible for ourselves.
We are capable of incredible generosity, compassion, empathy, rich and rewarding gifts of service, love and when we gift our inner warrior with our love, many things become possibly.
Love your inner warrior, relentlessly nurture your inner warrior. Find the powerful force that lies within yourself and shine shine shine.
Food has become our babysitter.
Best friend and confidant, eating food when bummed out. Fast foods. Drinks and snacks, high in saturated fats. Sugar, additives and terrible preservatives. Salt.
Our systems swing from high to lows, faster than a pendulum can.
Fast Food counts on it.
Fast food is big business.
Fancy packaging. Ingredients that look like food. But aren’t.
Why does that matter? Our bodies don’t know what to do with “non-food”. That crap stays inside our bodies. Creates toxicity. Is stored like fat!
Many of the processed food words, we that can’t even read. Can’t read it. Don’t eat it. Processed foods, preservatives are often linked to disease. Cancer, heart disease, type 2 diabetes.
Driven by our own unhappiness. Loneliness and stress. Feeling there isn’t enough time in our day, to create a healthy nutritious meal.
How does this kind of food feel like inside my body?
Eating fast food perpetuates the cycle. Restlessness, highs and lows, sleeplessness. Foggy brain, irritability and dissatisfaction. Behavior cycles because we feel punky!
But that still isn’t enough. To make us change. We need a wake up call. Doc says somethings wrong. Still, only 20% make the needed change.
Be aware of the hyped marketing and lure with product that provide the Dopamine drop in an unhealthy bundle. It’s this lift in emotion that we seek, a temporary relief from feeling out of sorts and when ever we begin to feel the craving, our behavior is often to reach for unhealthy eats.
But there is many great healthy alternatives, that get rid of the highs and lows and provide our bodies with good nutrients!
Amino Rich antioxidant foods, free of antibiotics, artificial sweeteners, additives are great healthy sources that trigger the Dopamine drop and stimulate your metabolism at the same time! Lose weight now!
- Then eat raw vegetables rich in Folate
- Amino acid rich fruits
- Vegetables that contain Betaine, a natural anti-depressant
- Apples, Bananas and drink Green tea
- Cur-cumin and Gingko
And if you want to lose weight by removing these pesky babysitters, watch my video and enjoy a neuro-linguistic programming session and have fun out there.
Loneliness interferes with weight loss
Anyone experienced loneliness? They can tell you, the wound of loneliness is deep. As deep as any physical injury. Yet wounds of the mind aren’t often recognized as such. And if you’re trying to lose weight? It’s affecting you more than mentally emotionally. It is affecting your desire for your future.
Dr. Guy Winch describes loneliness to a psychological injury. It distorts our perception of the world. Not only that. It is linked to similar health consequences caused by smoking cigarettes or having high blood pressure. Or high cholesterol. Loneliness is linked to weight gain and over-eating. And a depressed immune response. These are only a few of the physical concerns of being lonely.
Loneliness arises from many life circumstance. And maybe you’re trying to lose weight so you feel better about getting out there and finding a mate? If that’s the case. We need to understand what’s happening inside our minds before we attempt to lose weight.
For example, if someone recently left a relationship. They may be feeling lonely.
Rejection also has a cycle. One related to an addiction cycle. Anxiety and stress rises when separated from someone. Whether its a child, lover or our self. rejection can also create self-limiting beliefs, lower self esteem and self worth.
In fact statistics say, loneliness makes us 14% more likely to die. The old saying goes; “she died of loneliness”, may be truer than we think.
When feelings of loneliness permeate our mind. Our body and soul aches. And many of us eat to make ourselves feel better. But then, uncontrolled eating can make us feel miserable, out of control. When this happens, many deepen the wound by self-inflicting mental cruelty. Like rubbing salt in a fresh cut. Our mental rumination becomes self induced malice. When we don;t like ourselves. We may wonder; “If I don;t like me,” will anyone else likes us. This can make us feel separate. Or make us withdrawal.
We then tend to look inward rather than reaching out for help. Our loneliness actually deepens a sense of separation. In the worse cases, it can drive some into clinical depression.
Winch goes on to say that negative and cruel rumination is habit forming and can cause us to limit our potential to succeed. So when we discuss weight loss, the same rings true. He goes as far as to say that many people’s “default self-limiting beliefs” convince them not to succeed. Meaning they operate below their full potential.
But there is hope; rumination can be interrupted through distraction. Once we become aware of our negative habit, we can interrupt our pattern with as little as a 2 minute distraction. Within a few short weeks, our negative pattern is lessoned and we rise above our lonely feelings.
We understand that changing one’s mind can be difficult. This is because our default belief system gives us an automated response to lonely. Yet something as simplistic as distraction can reverse the psychological and physical harm.
We understand that loneliness impacts our ability to access our willpower.
Loneliness is one big reason why we fail at dieting. When our willpower is suppressed, we tend to eat to make ourselves feel better. Unfortunately this form of “food” distraction, is self limiting and perpetuates our demise. The shot of Dopamine that floods our system, when we snack on high calorie junk food, quickly fades before cycling downward towards depression.
There are plenty of reasons to change our ways, beyond weight loss. Rising beyond outdated self-limiting beliefs, our reaction to life, on many levels can shift. We can operate at our full potential and we can convince ourselves of our success, by first taking control of our minds.
I believe cleaning up our psychology is the next human leap in, not only will it change our own lives, but that of mankind.
N.L.P. can get you there faster and I can help.
is an Neuro-Linguistics Programming that can assist in removing unwanted behavior and move you towards your desired outcome.
- A: This technique is useful anytime you want to remove unwanted behavior or feelings and can transform it into a desired outcome.
- In section one: We created a large empowered image of ourselves.
- Close your eyes and recall this picture. I would like you to imagine this image again and then place this image of yourself, onto the cover of “TIME Magazine”
- Make it as colorful as you can.
- In your mind’s eye pick the magazine up. Smell the magazine, feel the cover, texture, weight and temperature of the magazine.
- Listen to the sound as you turn the pages.
- Listen to what your peers saying about seeing you on the cover?
- What feelings do you have? Pride, accomplishment, gratitude.
- Sear this picture of yourself on “TIME Magazine” into your mind in every detail. Congratulate yourself for this great achievement.
- B: Now create a picture of yourself that includes the behavior you wish to remove. Place this picture onto a 5 by 7 piece of paper and put it into a picture frame. This is your “cue” picture. Store it in your mind.
- C: Recall your “cue picture and visualize the picture frame of yourself on a table in front of you.
- Reach over and take a black maker, place a large “dot” in the center of the picture.
- This large “dot” is like a “shutter of a camera” and can open and close as you command.
- Now bring forward, in your mind; your best self as shown on the cover of “TIME” and place the magazine on a stand behind the Cue picture.
- Command the shutter to OPEN
- Opening the shutter reveals your best self on the Time Magazine. You at your best.
- Open your eyes
- Repeat “C” 5 – 6 times. Each time you should end with the shutter open and you seeing your best self.
- Try to pull up; in your mind; the cue picture… it should be difficult.
- Imagine your BEST self on the cover of Time. It should be easy and natural.