Tag: psychology

Loneliness and Weight Loss

Loneliness interferes with weight loss

Anyone experienced loneliness? They can tell you, the wound of loneliness is deep. As deep as any physical injury. Yet wounds of the mind aren’t often recognized as such. And if you’re trying to lose weight? It’s affecting you more than mentally emotionally. It is affecting your desire for your future.

Dr. Guy Winch describes loneliness to a psychological injury. It distorts our perception of the world. Not only that. It is linked to similar health consequences caused by smoking cigarettes or having high blood pressure. Or high cholesterol. Loneliness is linked to weight gain and over-eating. And a depressed immune response. These are only a few of the physical concerns of being lonely.

Loneliness arises from many life circumstance. And maybe you’re trying to lose weight so  you feel better about getting out there and finding a mate? If that’s the case. We need to understand what’s happening inside our minds before we attempt to lose weight.

For example, if someone recently left a relationship. They may be feeling lonely.

Loneliness can be a result of rejection

Rejection also has a cycle. One related to an addiction cycle. Anxiety and stress rises when separated from someone. Whether its a child, lover or our self. rejection can also create self-limiting beliefs, lower self esteem and self worth.

In fact statistics say, loneliness makes us 14% more likely to die. The old saying goes; “she died of loneliness”, may be truer than we think.

When feelings of loneliness permeate our mind. Our body and soul aches. And many of us eat to make ourselves feel better. But then, uncontrolled eating can make us feel miserable, out of control. When this happens, many deepen the wound by self-inflicting mental cruelty. Like rubbing salt in a fresh cut. Our mental rumination becomes self induced malice. When we don;t like ourselves. We may wonder; “If I don;t like me,” will anyone else likes us. This can make us feel separate. Or make us withdrawal.

We then tend to look inward rather than reaching out for help. Our loneliness actually deepens a sense of separation. In the worse cases, it can drive some into clinical depression.

Winch goes on to say that negative and cruel rumination is habit forming and can cause us to limit our potential to succeed. So when we discuss weight loss, the same rings true. He goes as far as to say that many people’s “default self-limiting beliefs” convince them not to succeed. Meaning they operate below their full potential.

But there is hope; rumination can be interrupted through distraction. Once we become aware of our negative habit, we can interrupt our pattern with as little as a 2 minute distraction. Within a few short weeks, our negative pattern is lessoned and we rise above our lonely feelings.

We understand that changing one’s mind can be difficult. This is because our default belief system gives us an automated response to lonely. Yet something as simplistic as distraction can reverse the psychological and physical harm.

We understand that loneliness impacts our ability to access our willpower.

Loneliness is one big reason why we fail at dieting. When our willpower is suppressed, we tend to eat to make ourselves feel better. Unfortunately this form of “food” distraction, is self limiting and perpetuates our demise. The shot of Dopamine that floods our system, when we snack on high calorie junk food, quickly fades before cycling downward towards depression.

There are plenty of reasons to change our ways, beyond weight loss. Rising beyond outdated self-limiting beliefs, our reaction to life, on many levels can shift. We can operate at our full potential and we can convince ourselves of our success, by first taking control of our minds.

I believe cleaning up our psychology is the next human leap in, not only will it change our own lives, but that of mankind.

N.L.P. can get you there faster and I can help.

How our psychological wellness affects our physical bodies
How our psychological wellness affects our physical bodies

Swish Pattern for Excellence

Swish Pattern:

is an Neuro-Linguistics Programming that can assist in removing unwanted behavior and move you towards your desired outcome.

  • A: This technique is useful anytime you want to remove unwanted behavior or feelings and can transform it into a desired outcome.
  • In section one: We created a large empowered image of ourselves.
  • Close your eyes and recall this picture. I would like you to imagine this image again and then place this image of yourself, onto the cover of “TIME Magazine”
  • Make it as colorful as you can.
    • In your mind’s eye pick the magazine up. Smell the magazine, feel the cover, texture, weight and temperature of the magazine.
    • Listen to the sound as you turn the pages.
    • Listen to what your peers saying about seeing you on the cover?
    • What feelings do you have? Pride, accomplishment, gratitude.
    • Sear this picture of yourself on “TIME Magazine” into your mind in every detail. Congratulate yourself for this great achievement.


  • B: Now create a picture of yourself that includes the behavior you wish to remove. Place this picture onto a 5 by 7 piece of paper and put it into a picture frame. This is your “cue” picture. Store it in your mind.
  • C: Recall your “cue picture and visualize the picture frame of yourself on a table in front of you.
  • Reach over and take a black maker, place a large “dot” in the center of the picture.
  • This large “dot” is like a “shutter of a camera” and can open and close as you command.
  • Now bring forward, in your mind; your best self as shown on the cover of “TIME” and place the magazine on a stand behind the Cue picture.
  • Command the shutter to OPEN
  • Opening the shutter reveals your best self on the Time Magazine. You at your best.
  • Open your eyes
  • Repeat “C” 5 – 6 times. Each time you should end with the shutter open and you seeing your best self.
  • TEST:
    • Try to pull up; in your mind; the cue picture… it should be difficult.
    • Imagine your BEST self on the cover of Time. It should be easy and natural.

Visual Squash!

Visual Squash

This technique is great when one part of you wants to give up behavior that is interfering with your happiness, and another part of you is resistant to change. The part of our minds that resists changes,  finds comfort in this known behavior. IE: Emotional eating. Neur-Linguistics programming can offer you natural and easy tools that change behavior and lets your succeed at your weight loss goals.

  • I want you to put on music that relaxes you. Possibly the music that reminds you of a person you love or something you love to do.
  • Close your eyes
  • Imaging something or someone you truly love.
    • I want you to locate how this feels in your body.
    • The location, sensation or vibration, give it a color, sound, a shape
  • Now picture in your mind, exactly what you would like to change, the part of you that brought you to read this report and that part that really wants to reach the goal.
    • Get a clear vision of this in your mind.
    • Give it a shape, a color, a texture a sound, taste and a feeling. It’s the vision of yourself that only wants the best for you.
  • Now picture the part of yourself that keeps you from achieving your goal. The reasons may not be clear on a conscious level.
    • Give this part a different shape, color, texture, vibration, taste and feeling
    • You now recognize this is the part of you that holds you back.
    • Thanks this part for its efforts, it had good intentions; you may understand the reason why it held you back.
    • You ask this part of yourself to look at the behaviors and beliefs that are creating the inability to lose weight. These unintentional patterns were learned while growing up. For example: “Eat all your food, children are starving in Africa”.
    • You can explain to this part of yourself that your parent’s good intention is misplaced or misunderstood.
    • Invite this part to release these events as you are now ready to embark on a new journey and growing beyond this behavior.
    • In your minds’ eye: get these 2 parts to stand in front of each other and acknowledge each other.
    •  Visualize the energy between them; they seem energetically connected, almost magnetized.
    • With this realization, both parts understand that they are not losing anything, but gaining as they will be stronger by fusing together.
    • They start to communicate, blending the very best of themselves together, integrating, blending and gaining the best qualities as those lacking in one as present in the other.
    • They begin to magnetize together at their own speed, assimilating the positive changes and then the two images join and form a single image. The old images dissolve into one more powerful form that has the positive skills and attributes of the old.
    • The new form is very capable of accomplishing all the important goals of your future.
    • Now take your time and integrate the new part into your present self.
    • Now go back and bring back your fully embodied LOVE form.
      • You can see that there is a special place opening up within your “love” zone.
      • This space that is open is being created in the same shape, color, sound, vibration as the new part that you have created. They understand that they will fit perfectly.
    • Imagine the part finding it comfort and home within your place of love.
    • You can feel your energy grow as they reunite with you.
    • Take a few minutes to enjoy this feeling and quality.
    • Once you feel comfortable, think of places and times in the future where you want these integrated qualities and capacities to empower you.
    • You know they will be at your disposal whenever you need them.

New Behavior Generator

New Behavior Generator: 

when we want to change our behavior and willpower fails, we engage the subconscious mind and change the patterns that are limiting our success. This is a Neuro-Linguistics process that can empower change in your behavior!

  • Close your eyes and visualize a person you know that has achieved their weight loss goal.
  • Watch their behavior as is you are watching them in a movie.
    • Study their movements, how they hold themselves, confidence, language and actions.
  • Watch the movie a second time:
    • What are the nuances of their behavior, their action and conscious and unconscious strategies
    • Watch the movie again: watch their comfort level, breath patterns and eye movements. Watch their energy and aura.
    • This time when you watch the movie, breathe in rhythm and make the same eye movements and as you are watching them, take an imaginary scissors and cut that person out of the movie and put yourself into the picture.
    • Replay the movie again and envision yourself becoming comfortable in this movie, picking up the conscious and unconscious strategies, movements and aura.
    • Inhale deeply and step into the movie and feel how natural those skills and how comfortable they are to you
    • Now remember times and situations in the future where these skills will be required and that they will naturally emerge.
    • Open your eyes

Grey Matters Neuro-Linguistics Programming is Masterminding

I have been thinking about Masterminding my Grey Matter, because Grey matters.

  • Before I realized that my brain had an infinite capacity.
  • Before I learned that I had limited willpower, whenever I was tired, lonely, frustrated, hungry and angry.
  • Before I knew what I know now…..
    • I relied on a sleep aide when over tired
    • Wine to ease my stress
    • Procrastination when I was unsure of myself
    • Felt Anger when under pressure
    • and thought I could rely on my willpower to lose weight.

But now I know.

  • I don’t require the latest diet craze
  • I never needed a sleep aide
  • Stress doesn’t have to be the norm…
  • Why procrastinate when you can just do it! Do it now!

Because now I know how to access my sub-conscious grey matter, my mastermind is my super power!

Twenty years ago I discovered that Grey matters within my sub-conscious mind was a super power. During a near death experience of crashing in a float plane, while I struggled to survive without air, direction or experience, my sub-conscious mind exploded with super natural powers I never knew existed. Through this experience, I became aware of the master within the mind. It was a life altering experience.

I survived to tell the tale of that incredible experience, but I also understood that I didn’t know how to access my mastermind anytime I wanted to. And that knowledge set the course of me having a tremendous desire to learn all about psychology.

I became a Homeopath, studying mind body connections. Probed into different aspects of psychology, but, it wasn’t until I became a N.L.P. trainer and hypnotherapist that I truly realized I had discovered the Holy Grail, the secret of Masterminding Grey Matter.

With Neuro-Linguistics programming I learned to access my subconscious mind, had the ability to read peoples strategies, how their brain processed decision making, how to communicate with anyone and get the information I needed to help them, and to have the ability to make positive changes in my life and the lives of my clients.

Now I know, the mastermind understands that Grey Matter doesn’t really separate reality from fantasy. Each of us has experienced the truth in this. How? Our subconscious mind learns and finds reality through metaphors. Or a story of a friends life experience. Even watching a scary movie. Listen to what your body and mind does. Did your heart rate go up? Hair raise on the back of your neck? Experience fear, happiness, empathy?

When someone gets hurt, even on T.V., do you cringe? Actually say OUCH? Because you could feel their pain?

Ever have your mouth water when you smell an apple pie on a cooking show?

These are simple examples in everyday life. Proving we can experience an emotion, through witnessing it in another person, an actor, animation or an animal. Experiences become real based on our sensory experience. What we see, hear, smell, taste and feel. Our brain believes something is real whether it is real or not.

Now that we are aware of that fact, Neuro-Linguistic Programming uses it to YOUR advantage. Fact!

  1. If someone wants to quit smoking, why not “trick” the brain into thinking they already quit….
  2. If someone wants to be a better athlete, why not experience the strengths and attributes of a star athlete and make it your own?
  3. If someone is not fun, why can we not change our impression of it, and make it fun?
  4. If someone overeats and cannot lose weight, why not mastermind the brain to make a different choice?
  5. What if your job requires one to speak in public and they have a tremendous fear

Fact: Each of these scenarios is possible. Brain science has already proven it. We can Mastermind Grey Matter, easily and naturally, without drugs, diets, stress struggle or pain.

Now Masterminding Grey Matters is readily available. To anyone that is looking for change. These natural scientifically proven methods of accessing the subconscious mind now. Useful for overcoming fear, building confidence, changing behavior, and performance.

learn more at yes@lifecoachadele.com Until we speak in person, discover in yourself when, fantasy feels real.

Unlearning regaining personal Power

I love this idea of “unlearning”.

Unlearning could be considered the conscious and subconscious release of old beliefs, outdated beliefs, emotional baggage, or releasing the pain of trauma that no longer serves us. By unlearning we can regain our personal power.

If your psyche accepts the vision of “unlearning” easier than “letting go”… then consciously chose unlearning all the things that you think about yourself; that either drags you down, makes you doubt yourself or that doesn’t serve your best and most powerful self.

We will separate all the “no longer true” from the “true” and change how we feel about ourselves and our future.

If you would like to experience of unlearning and letting go, a new reality then play along.

After you read the plan, then insert your own truths, what you would like to unlearn and what is “no longer true” into your personal story.

You can do this by closing your eyes and picking a location in your mind where you will lovingly place all the things that you “are”, that you know definitively to be true. I am a sister, a loving daughter, a compassionate woman, a passionate NLP trainer.

I visualize each truth as a warm glowing orb. Each one has a bit of a different color, some glow red, others a soft blue. They resonate, a slight soft tone, a noticeable vibration.

I reach out to other areas of my mind; I select one truth at a time; in my minds’ eye. I feel the weight of it, the slight vibration and tone that emanates from each truth. I place each one of my truths into my hands and roll them around, looking at them from every angle as I carry it carefully to my “truth box”. I witness myself easily walking through the corridors of my mind and naturally finding the room in my mind where my truth box is.

I walk over to my Truth box, I can’t wait to look inside, I feel my excitement. I can now see inside my truth box and as I let my gaze pass around the interior, it expands and becomes a huge magnificent room. I can walk inside here.

As I enter this room in my mind, I become aware how vast this room in my mind is, it feels unlimited expansive, each time I place my truths into it, the air seems to glows and the room expands a little more.  I can tell it is unlimitied.

I can actually feel the love in this room, it is, I understand my love for myself. The room itself glows with all my truth and potential. I feel at peace and excited at the same time, I feel the rooms’ powerful magnetic pull and I realize that I can easily walk around inside this room and visit all the beautiful truths that reside here.

I become aware that it is like the most magnificent library I have ever seen. Shelves line the walls and fill the space; there are already so many things already in there, things that I had somehow forgotten, like all the wonderful things I have already learned, accomplishments, great memories of my past, and milestones from years gone past.

Just being in here in my truth makes me feel powerful, I feel so proud of my truths and take a deep easy breathe feeling my chest expand and relax. It feels like home.

I continue to bring truths into my room and notice the space expands and glows brighter with each item I add. I also notice that each time I place a truth in my box, I hear the song a beautiful little bird singing, I feel the warmth of my love for all these things that are me. I breathe in the sweet smell that permeates the space and feel my body relax. I feel most relaxed and at ease.

I start to feel the unlimited nature of myself. I decide I will add more, because I can and I am these things that I have forgotten. Adding courage, resilience, power, compassion, passion, and as I continue to add more, I am I expanding myself. Adding more.. I am a constant learner, excited about the future +++, and I now I can feel it, I can breathe in all my truths.

I take a few minutes to wonder through the room, reach out as I pass each of my truths. I notice each time I reach towards my truth, they begin to glow a brilliant warm light, they seem to illuminate, vibrate and I hear them almost like they are singing with joy. I feel their warmth, the lightest touch to my face, my body and my heart. And now, because I have experienced my truths again, I feel at peace, powerful, safe and ready to unlearn the things that I will leave behind.

But as I leave this room for a short time, I will always remember where this room is and that I can visit it anytime I want. It is my personal room, built all for me and I am welcome anytime. I also keep this room open and promise myself to keep adding truths and to use this room as my safe haven.

Now it is time to create another box, in a different location in my mind. This box will represent the things that I no longer am.

I notice as I construct this box that it feels uncomfortable here, it’s darker, the light doesn’t reflect with me, It feels separate from myself.

I feel a bit of a knot in my stomach, anxiety, self-doubt… will I make the box right, can I do this? I definitely don’t like it here, my chest feel tight, I feel my palms are hot and sweat a little. It’s damp and musty and cobwebs cling to the corners of this box. Dark things seem to lurk at the edges watching me, judging my progress. It feels a bit sticky around the box and smells more sour than musky.

I will do this quickly, my truths are lighting the way. My truths have told me and I have the inner strength to unlearn all this garbage that I have picked up along life’s road. I am ready… I can go to my Truth room; in my mind, whenever I need their strength.

I have decided. I am going to fill this big black box with all the things that are no longer true or things that I need to unlearn. Afterwards, I will naturally and effortlessly walk away from this place.

The first thing I notice is how easy it is to drop all that is heavy, sad, painful and unhappy. It is time; I may have realized that for a long time. I know now that they really have no life of their own… so I happily drop them into the box.

I realize now that untruths cannot animate without my power. Untruths are dead weight, lifeless nothingness. With this new awareness I know I will never give an untruth life again.

In my mind, I quickly gather all the untrue things together, some are just old clutter, others limp lifeless, sticky smelly perceptions of has never been true.

Easy… I no longer drive a Jeep, clunk… it hits the bottom of the box. I no longer live in Vancouver, clunk… a spa owner … clunk, faster now, own a horse.

Deeper; fear of flying, overweight, I peek over the edge and watch them drop into the abyss of the box.

I notice that each lifeless untruth seems to disappear into a bottomless black hole, disappearing beyond my awareness. I seem to forget them as soon as they drop in.

This is empowering, I grab several untruths, the ones that seems tough,

  • self-doubt
  • indecision

.. and this time I throw them deep into the bottom of the box, I smile as I hear them dropping into the pit. They disappear in blackness into the nothingness and now, I realize that is their nature. ..

Untruths are not tough, they are “UN”, they are do not exist, powerless, lifeless …

….this is starting to feel good, I continue getting rid of the crap that holds me back, the untruths that I need to unlearn. Here I go…

  • Gaining Wealth is difficult… Done.
  • I don’t deserve… swoosh I throw it harder. Gone.
  • I’m not good enough. Gone.
  • I’m not pretty enough. Gone.
  • I am not thin enough. Gone.

All of my untruths effortlessly falling into the black abyss of the box…at times I hear them crash against the walls. I listen as they loudly explode into smithereens somewhere beyond my vision.. More…

I hear fears’ painful cry as its’ fiery red ball implodes into nothingness.

I am charged now! I am really feeling smooth texture of empowerment.

I realize I have more power, more options, and I begin to see the fog clear, a new greater perception is beginning to appear.

Now that I am aware of my power and I see the limited lifeless nature of my untruths, they instantly begin to be sucked into the black box… all by themselves. It takes none of my effort, it’s effortless.

As this happens, I feel my body and mind are naturally feeling lighter, the weight of fatigue lifts, self-criticism disappears, and self-doubt tries to grad my arm but get sucked away. I watch them magnetically being sucked through the corridors of my mind, quickly vanishing into the box and beyond nothingness.

My untruths are pulled by themselves now, effortlessly. I just have to notice them, as simple as that. They all appear to have a certain polarity, seem unstable, a bit of a wobble and kind of stick together. It seems to be their nature.

As I continue to search for the more hidden untruths, the ones that haven’t left yet, I realize when I find them that they are becoming more unstable and maybe a bit transparent, they are losing their shape, I can’t make out what I used to think they were. Without my power, they lose their form, become nothing.

I notice how easy it is now, by simply bringing my attention to any untruth, they get sucked into the abyss.

I notice now, I no longer feel uncomfortable here, this is also my place of power, the room has become brighter, the floor stable and smooth. The air is clearer. My stomach feels relaxed, hungry for more truth and my shoulder strong and square. My mind feels clear and I can hear the sound of music and laughter from happy memories. I know my truth is much stronger now and it is starting to fill up many of the rooms in my mind.

I start to feel my excitement, uplifted, lighter, and I taste my freedom. My mind feels expansive, open and receptive to new ideas. I hear the un-limitedness in my thinking now, am visualizing opportunities beyond where I was allowing myself to notice before. But now I see them, waiting there for me, natural unlimited opportunities.

I feel confident in ridding myself from untruths, like a detective I easily find them, how quickly I can make this happen!

I understand that at times, a new untruth may enter my mind, but now I have the awareness that they have no power of their own, and I naturally repel them, they cannot stay here.

This knowledge is my truth! All of a sudden start to see my untruth box begin to implode. It is sucking any and all untruths from my mind, dissolving them back into nothingness.

I lean inward and notice now, there is just a big black hole left in the place where the untruth box was and it has a powerful pull. It has my power, the power of my truth energizing it.

I hear cheering, rise out of my truths. As the last of the untruth turns to nothingness, my see my truth room glow brighter, stronger and their energy empowers me.

I realize now that my truth is my shield, my true self! I feel the warm glow everywhere, permeating every cell, flushing through my bones, muscles, tendons; my truth runs in my blood, it is a natural part of me. I feel my truth expand, its strength flow all around me, a powerful shield, protecting me, repelling untruths.

I will decide right now that whenever I feel that uncomfortable pull of an untruth, all I have to do, is lightly bring attention to it and it will be sucked into the black hole, sucked naturally and easily into the black hole and into nothingness.

I have the power; it is MY mind after all!

I have a choice and I chose personal power.

With my new awareness, I briefly visit my TRUTH room, and take a deep breath and know and feel grateful for all my truth. It really is what sets me free.

Now, I realize that I can take this knowledge into the future and move beyond any untruth that may have been holding me back.

I know without a doubt that I will continue to nurture and grow my truths and I relax in this knowledge.


Now… Just take a moment to accept this too as my truth….


Lots of love


Are you moving towards or away from being an ex-smoker?

AS a NLP Master Practitioner, I ask my clients are you moving towards being an ex- smoker or are you leaving smoking behind. they go huh…:) I want to understand their “Meta Model”. So, then I ask why do you want to stop smoking, for health reasons, the odor, or are you doing it for your family?

Then I need to know how much research you have done? Have you read everything you can about it and know all the variables; because if you have you are a specific thinker and I need to know this. You will want the complete game plan.

Or are you a jump in a quite kind of person, you see the big picture but don’t really want to know all the inner working, just the end goal.

I am doing all this so I can understand the inner workings of YOUR mind…. so I can then reprogram your actions to a positive outcome of being a non-smoker.

There are other things I look for, representational systems, the types of words you chose to use. Are you visual or are you a kinesthetic thinker? I need to know.

Are you in-time or can you look ahead and already envision your non-smoker self. These are things that tell me how your brain processes information, I use this and much much more to trigger a new pattern of behavior, and it happens quite easily and naturally.

Then I can USE YOUR specific processing sequence to get the outcome YOU WANT.

This is pure psychology, willpower does not really come into play. I am “working the system” if you want to call it that.

I call this “smart” quitting rather than “struggle and willpower” quitting.

…And then I elicit the state of YOU as a non-smoker. I trick your subconscious mind into believing that you have already quit….hmmmm YUP!

This is the short version and you don’t have to know it all, unless your a specific thinker, then I can give you the step by step game plan. Yes there is a psychology behind quitting smoking and I can help. Or read more about me by booking a FREE 30 minute complimentary question period. https://lifecoachadele.com/fulfill-your-destiny-work-with-adele/

Communication and Representational Systems

Are you a kinesthetic communicator?

What does that mean? A kinesthetic communicator is one of 5 representational systems that humans use to describe their experiences.

It defines the way someone is processing their world through language. When we understand someone’s representational system, we can communicate better and build rapport. Once we have rapport, one is more likely to have them open up, get cooperation or make a sale. So by listening to the words that one uses in everyday language we can discovery a lot! And why does it matter in any way to you? We communicate everyday all day long. If we can be better it makes life easier all round. Communication and the relationships that either works well or suffer because of communication affects our lives every day, in families, neighbors, between coworkers and in the boardroom. Communication and representational systems cannot be underscored.

What situations can benefit you financially? Pretty much everywhere, because if you can get the right job, interviews, in sales and marketing unconscious communication plays an important role. It’s simply a good tool to have.

Think back to a time where you really felt that you really connected with someone. Why was that? What was it about that person that resonated with you? Possibly they were talking your language!

So how do you discover how to build rapport but understanding the clues in someone’s language? Look at the samples below and it will start to reveal the clues that you can look for. Then listen the next conversation you have today and discover the clues within their language, whether it is visual, auditory, kinesthetic, olfactory or gustatory. And then add the next component, mirror their style. (Watch for my next module!)

So how do you find the clues? Everyone uses a combination of each representational system but one will be more prominent. We would want to use the most prominent one most and the second most utilized send and so on.

When a person is a “visual” speaker, they predominately use “visual” type words.

Here are some examples: A visual person will use visual word to talk about experiences. They may say something like: It’s pretty clear to me that you have a bright future. I’ve been watching you and I can plainly see in my mind eye, that you know where you’re heading. It appears to me, your focus is on the bulls-eye, no tunnel vision there, I think you have a good perspective on things.

If you’re an auditory person, your expressions would be sound a bit like this: I hear ya. I don’t want you to think that I am outspoken, but I have been listening to what you’re saying and I hear your message loud and clear. You seem to go about your business quietly, I hear you talking to your team, you articulate so clearly. It was a really good CALL. Why I am telling you this, to tell you the truth, is that something that you said the other day really rang a bell with me. It seems to harmonize with my personal beliefs, it resonated with me…

If you’re a kinesthetic person, you probably like the outdoors, athletics and have chosen a career where you use your hands, like a carpenter, mechanic or  thinker, you may say. Even when I feel the pressure at work, I handle the stress well. I typically feel pretty relaxed.

Or: Yes I noticed, you’re a smooth operator, even when something slips your mind, when it boils right down to things; you’re sharp as a tack. I noticed when there’s a moment of panic or when things get heated, you just hang in there, pull a few strings and it seems like it all calms down ME.

A Gustatory/olfactory person might say things like. Something spoiled my day today. It was like swallowing a bitter pill, still feeling a little sour. It really stinks when that happens. I need to go for a walk and clear this staleness out of my mind. The fresh air will do me good, get me ready for a fresh start tomorrow.

I think you’re getting the hang of this? (which representational system did I use?)

Here are some to ponder and place into the categories you thing they belong.

Hazy                                  Outspoken                       Grip                     Observe                            Scream

Flash                                  Vista                                CALL                  Pungent                            Mention

Inquire                              Rough                             Clumsy                Delicious                          Perceive

So try it out today, If you want to build rapport quickly, speak someone’s language. Adapt your language accordingly and by doing this they will feel like…  this person really “gets ME”.


Watch for mirroring next! And see how your communication skills skyrocket! Or give me a call and get a personal session in building rapport and more about hypnotic conversation…for building success each and every day.



97% of Women hate their body

Why do we hate our body?

How about this morning. Rub your belly?  Did you pull open your P.J.’s? Then take a sideways look in the mirror? Did you think twice about breakfast?Wonder if you should cut back on calories today? How many outfits did you try? To get the one that looks good.

Did you go shopping the past week? Feel exasperated because cloths just don’t fit. There way you like them to. The way you want to look. Time to go up in size or did you squeeze in? Be honest. Do you love your body?

Well, Statistics say. 97% of women, at some time during their day don’t.

What is it really about? Is it about the body at all? Or is it a body image problem.

When we have a body image problem. It is probably not about the weight. It is the thoughts inside our head. The ones that beat us up. And create self-loathing. Our inner critic that says, I’m not perfect.

First off. Perfection is overrated! It’s a dangerous slippery slope. Perfection keeps us looking towards the future. But Missing the present! Perfection is a sign. We are out of balance. For whatever reason.

Many times, perfection has it’s roots in Emotional baggage. Negatively driving our thoughts, behavior and dominating our life! Often it has nothing to do with the body. Consider hating our bodies is first a mental emotional struggle.

Body Obsession?

Why do 97% of women hate their bodies? Peer pressure or unrealistic advertising. Bullying overweight children and adults. Judgmental people or emotional scars left by careless unkind words. There may be a plethora of reasons. None of which begin with food. After-all 97% of women are NOT extremely over-weight. Some only carrying a few extra pounds.

We understand that Obesity is different than carrying a few extra pounds. But obesity is huge. It has reached epidemic proportions in North America. And obesity comes with many dangers. High blood pressure. Heart disease. Diabetes. Reduced immune function means getting more colds and flues. The list goes on and on.

But it’s not just the body that hurts. Psychological issues. Dissatisfaction, even self-loathing. Being overweight can lead some to underachieve. To not trying new things. Because self-esteem suffers. Could be childhood baggage and trauma. But for many is is disillusionment. Searching for a deeper meaning and feeling dis-satisfied. A lack of knowing who we are at the deepest level of our existence.

Hating our bodies or hating our lives?

Psychology states, whenever we feel unhappy about something. Whether it is about weight or otherwise. The answers lie inward. When we feel unhappy. Look inward. And looking inward can lead us to look at defining our core values.

Core values are where happiness resides.

Only 1% of the worlds population have looked at their core values. We hear about values of nations and corporations. But we know now, that knowing our core values leads to a happier life. As long as we live by them.

How? Core values define our character. The absolutes. Why we feel and act the way we do. They direct purpose, commitment and motivation. When we live outside of core alignment. We struggle. Feel dis-satisfied. Then we search for external methods of happiness. Resulting in temporary satisfaction. It becomes a cycle of addiction. Because when we are unhappy, our search for contentment drives our behavior.

Why it is important to have core values defined when we are talking about our bodies?

It is the foundation of our internal happiness. But it is often overlooked in a hectic modern world.

And the western world isn’t bent that way. Doesn’t encourage us to search for meaning in our lives. To look internally for higher purpose. Eastern philosophies touch on core values. But western cultures went another route. Wealth, material items, a bigger house, Hollywood!

All external methods of satisfaction. With distorted images of what a body should look. Bombarding us each and everyday.

This external method of short term satisfaction creates stress. Because it never fulfills our heart. Keeps us searching for something else “external” that we must be missing. Illusions that that a new pair of shoes, will make us happy. The i’ll be happy when illusion.

Fact is, wealthy people are no happier than the rest of us.


Weights relationship with happiness?

Why are so many human so unhappy with their body?

Are skinny people happy? I think not. Being too skinny can also be body image. And it is just as unhealthy as obesity. Is it an illusion that skinny people are happier.

Its’ all in the mind. We are what we think. When we think we look great. We feel better. Get a compliment. We feel better. Therefore it may be a self-love, self-esteem and self-worth issue.

So how do we change? And lose weight too! First we need to look inward. Know what we really want. And that is not enough. We must discover WHY it is important. If we want to lose a few pounds. We must understand why. That answer, will help us achieve our goals. The “how”.

Part of the solution is: Empowerment. Core values. Support. Connection! Have an achievable plan. Accountability. Resources. And above all, learning to love ourselves. All of us. Not just the parts.

It is a mental set of many generations that is fueled by unattainable expectation and warped senses of reality.

With children dieting by the age of 8. I would say we have a major crisis on our hands. And it isn’t just a body image problem.It’s a being human problem. Most human beings are all so fragile. We may mask our feelings. Compensate our realities. It always come back to one thing. Happiness.

There are other missing elements.

Not understanding the psychology behind the pleasure centers of the brain. Sabotage. Self- destructive behavior. Missing the cues between being thirsty or hungry. Material distraction. Feeling unloved and that we don’t belong. All part of our early psychological evolution. Understudied and undervalued psychological foundation.

begin with basic psychology. Some deep thinking exercises. Where we can safely explore, process and heal. Then we can move. Get unstuck! Shift. Transform our thinking and ourselves.

  1. It’s almost always about emotional pain.
  2. Root causes, where the baggage originates and we forgive…
  3. Get support. Connect with people that encourage you
  4. Let go of outdated models and images
  5. Learn core values. Gain the knowledge of who you are. At the deepest level of existence
  6. Practice gratitude. The victories
  7. Give back…
  8. Pay it forward
  9. Focus and pursue
  10. Knowing the outcome is achieved
  11. Self-Love, honor and respect

Losing weight and loving your body can be a beautiful journey of self discovery, recovery and defining happiness.

Until we speak in person. Stay well


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