The Dreaded Firsts are coming around the sun

It’s the holidays, and once again consumerism is in full tilt. Not to be a spoil sport, but this year I find myself less engaged in the whole thing.


I have enjoyed getting to see friends and spending time connecting. But the idea of decorating the house and celebrating was a no go.


Many of you are aware, Willis passed away in June. It has been a journey like no other, and I really am learning to live in the moment. When someone asks me how I am? I have started offering the truth; I’m ok, right this minute”.


I know it’s hard, friends really don’t know what to say, and so they ask, how are you. Where maybe, how are you today.. or right now.. may be more accurate.


But it is not just me. Many people grieve leading up to and through the holiday season. It was funny (not so funny) I was at a gathering and sat down next to a woman and introduced myself anew. I had met her before but too long ago to recall her name and so I asked and shared my name in return. Within the first few breaths, I learned her husband had passed away in the past year, it was hers, and my first gathering alone. So there we sat, with tears streaming down our cheeks, as Christmas carols rand out, and there was nothing to do, but for both of us to take the moment to catch our emotions once again.


And we weren’t the only ones, I recognized a few lone males, previously coupled up. All of us had aged in the past few years, but this seemed to be the first time that several of the group had “left the party early.” Lives change, and we must change with it. We all seem to make it through in different ways, with the support of friends and family.

But why I’m bringing this up is I want to ask you, what did you “get” last year? Think back to the day, back to all the shopping, the wrapping, gifting and giving.


What stood out?


Was it something you received?


Was it something you gave?


Or was it something else, like gathering with friends, generosity, caring, a great conversation, creation of a memory, breaking bread.


I wonder if soo much of consumerism is because we want to give. When we look at what seems to matter to humans, it is the feeling we receive. The smile on someone’s face. A childs’ excitement, that quickly moves to the next item. The food shared and the lounging conversations that take place after pleasantly suf-fancified. Memories created for the future. Bonds deepen.


Possibly, it is the experience we may crave… because it is during this time we take the time together. Why is that?


What other times do we stop everything as gather? Funerals… yup when we have no time and then we make time. When everything changes and for a few days or hours, we change too. We stop to hustle and bustle, and we somehow drop everything, slow down and take the time for the things that matter.




And this is what I wish for you, because if you are reading my post, I believe you are a conscious consumer. We may not need more stuff, what we may need is connection. To send time with the people you love. This year take a moment to look around. Who are you spending time with? Why is it important? Tell them….. because life is precious, the people you care about will not be here forever and so take the time this season to reach across miles and hearts.


So, here I am, reaching out across miles and hearts. To tell you I care about you.


May your mind to be soothed in peace, your heart filled with love, and your soul to carefree, and may all the ones you love be safe. Wishing you a joyful Merry Christmas, Joyeux Noel, or Happy Hanukkah xoxoxo Adele